People trying to get respect out of those who are mean to them?

Question

Have you ever been in this situation? WHY do they do this? And why do they treat the ones who dont project their ideas onto them with disregard?

Answer 1

It shows insecurity and maybe the need to win a challenge from the part of the person who is being treated badly. The person who is being mean, obviously shows a lack of respect and disregard and the natural/healthy response from the other would be to move on from association with the "mean" person. Those who choose to be ill-treated, trying to win  respect, would benefit from self-evaluation in order to uncover why they feel they should allow another to disrespect them.

Answer 2

We as people try to handle situations differently for a lot of differnt reasons. Some are simply instinct such as persuading those that torment you so that you can gain control over a situation that would otherwise go bad for you. Other times it is because we want to judge our selves in relation on how other think of us. People who do this are known to look at who likes them the least and figure if they can get the person who has no respect for them to treat them better then they can gain some confidence in the person they are. Still others need some sort of direction and see someone outwardly mean to them as someone dominent and beacuse they seek leadersjip of some kind, gravitate to this aggresive behavior. No mater which it is, you should hopefully be able to convince this person of what is really happening to them by taking note of specific situations of them being abused by this mean person. You can then passively mention how that went wrong for them. Example: If he loaned the mean person money, ytou should say something like, "It really sucks that he would do that. We could have used that for (something he was saving for)" It is always important to end in some rationalization as opposed to an accusation. End it with things like " You worked had for that money," or "He doesn't seem to pay you back very often." One suggestion I will make though is to not straight up attack the mean person's character. If the friend you are talking about is drawn to him, they will defend a straight forward attack of his character as you probably already know.

Answer 3

it's human nature. it's the same as saying you covet what you can't have. if someone doesn't agree with you or like you, you tend to get challenged by them, like you want their respect coz they act that they're above you. it also has something to do with ego. people don't like being told their ideas suck or that they're are not original.

Answer 4

Never will understand that...obviously they suffer from a terrible lack of self esteem and are very needy which only perpetuates their problem...and conversely, they ignore those who are kind to them, because they feel that anyone who likes them must be flawed somehow because they themselves see nothing to like, hence the lack of self esteem...they can't like or respect anyone who likes them.

Answer 5

I treated my first wife like a princess , and she walked all over me and out the door with her boyfriend and left me with the kid.

My second wife treats me like a king , and I try not to take advantage of it , but if I'm in a bad mood she allows me to vent and behave "mean".

She strives to please me even when there is no demand to.

It works for us.

My current wife agreed in her vows to OBEY me , and that was our choice.

My point is , it takes all kinds , and I don't pass judgment on others for their relationship choices , so as long as their is no physical violence ,there is no problem.

Answer 6

I stayed with my husband when he was doing many unspeakable things to me for a couple of years (the first 5 years of our marriage was good - he got sick and it went to his brain and he changed + started drinking heavily) it is kind of like you get conditioned into feeling that this is just how life is and how its going to be and you just learn to live with it and are made to feel that you deserve it and you feel a need for that person when they are not there - like they are the stronger person or something.  It doesnt happen over night it happens over a long period of time so you dont really notice how bad its got.

It wasnt till my husband left that I realised how bad things had been, I wonder to this day how I let it all happen (he was raping me a lot amongst other things) its like you get to finally step outside and look in and say to yourself OMG I put up with that?  Im glad he went he did me a favor - he has tried to come back a few times but Ill never have him back as I have quickly learned that I am strong and that I am my own person and dont need him or his c**p but thats not to say I didnt come out without any scars.. I am having sexual assault counselling, I found myself really happy for the last 6 months or so (this is when he left me) and it got to the point that my family were pointing out to me that I was actually manic - I thought I was just happy and thats what it felt like so now have a diagnosis of Bipolar type 2 as I have had depression for many years but now have highs that have me talking really fast etc.  Im still happy he is out though but I now have an understanding of how people find themselves in this situation and dont even seem to realise it.

Answer 7

I've never understood it myself either, you would not catch me wanting respect from those kind of people.

Answer 8

Maybe it's more of a psychological problem-people who still

have issues with disapproving parents.