People who are pro-life and always recommending adoption

Question

Have you ever actually given a baby up for adoption? I am sure it is not as easy an option as you make it out to be. Think of the emotions involved in that and then lasting for the rest of a person's life. I am not pro-life or pro-choice really, I would prefer for people to just be responsible and use contraception if they dont want a baby. It just irks me seeing all these pregnant women being told 'just give it up for adoption' like it's a simple thing to do.

Answer 1

I'm not really pro life, I mean I'm not for abortion at all but what other women choose to do isn't any of my business and I don't judge them.  On a lot of questions where girls are considering abortion I'll add something about adoption in there, just stating that the option is there.  I don't know what would be worse for me, knowing that I ended a life that I created or giving my baby to strangers.  Keeping it would definitely be the easiest thing to do emotionally but if some girls aren't in any position to raise a baby then those two other options are open to them.  The more selfless thing to do would be to give the baby an actual chance at life with a family that's been longing for a child.  Sure, adoption would be hard, but if the girl knew that she couldn't keep a baby then she should have been using condoms and birth control.

Answer 2

Who says because a woman has an unplanned pregnancy that she was sleeping around. Woman who are in committed relationships have unplanned pregnancies. If your having s*x- as most adults do- then you can become pregnant- ready or not- planned or not.

Answer 3

i agree

Answer 4

I have chosen abortion twice. Both times, birth control failed.

The first time, I did, briefly consider placing the child for adoption, but there were personal reasons why I did not (basically I knew that my mom would make me place the child through the LDS church and I did not want MY child to be LDS...yes it was a really selfish reason not to place a baby for adoption, but it was my CHOICE, and I knew my mom wouldn't let me make the choice for myself.) The second time it was abort or parent.  We didn't even think about placing the baby for adoption.

I do not regret my abortions.  I did, way back when we were having fertility issues, have pangs of guilt, but it had nothing to do with the fact that I could have "given an infertile couple a priceless gift".  What I was guilty over, because of all the stupid anti-abortion propaganda that is out there, that I might have "ruined" my chances of ever becoming a parent.  I now know better, and know my fertility issues have nothing to do with my abortions, and I hate when people act like they are.  

I also hate that I am made out to be a reckless s**t, because I was not.  Birth control fails.  No one is put on this earth to be a babymaker for anyone else.  Women need control of their own uterus's.  No infertile person is owed a child.  I could go on and on, you get my drift.  

I am free to decide, for myself, what is right and wrong.  I respect everyone else's rights to make their own choices, and I expect that same respect for myself.  My body is MINE.  

Answer 5

I think we all know that it's a much better alternative then living with the fact because the "timing wasn't right" (or whatever) someone had to die.  

Answer 6

I am pro life

I have not given a child for adoption

I think it is the most difficult choice a person could ever make.

I find women who make this choice to be hero's and a true mother...sacrificing her own desires for her child's welfare.

In the case of rape...you are correct that that is a horrible situation. However, you did not address the trauma of the mother killing her child.She would need to live with that for the rest of her life as well. No matter how the baby got there, it is still a human being with a right to live. And yes, that would be an extremely difficult thing for a woman to go through....being raped, going through pregnancy, delivery and relinquishment, however; typically the best choices in life are not the easy ones. Also, the majority of abortions performed are not on rape cases.  And, personaly, I am "irked" at how easy pro "choicers" make abortion seem. It comes at an extremely high price.  

Answer 7

this is yahoo answers not yahoo OPINIONS. but anyways yea ur right

HEY! ur question is NOT what u state later on in the details. so to answer ur FIRST question "Have you ever actually given a baby up for adoption? "--- NO

Answer 8

Easy, if you dont want kids dont sleep around. I'm pro life but I believe that abortion should be allowed in extreme situations like rape or if the life of the mother is in danger. I'm the opposit of you one one thing I cant understand how so many pro choice wemon who never had a baby can promote it in the first place. After you become a parent you realize just how precious that child is. This is why so many who have abortions deal with depression and are 10x's more likely to be manic if they have another child due to the guilt in there own hearts. My X wife had 2 abortions and after her 1st child she is still to this day beating herself for allowing  to be weekminded and listening to idiots tell her to kill a child. I know what I said isnt going to be popular but TS.

Maybe we should go back about 70 years ago when it was a disgrace to be pregnant out of wedlock, oh yeah thats right............. were a new generation and a pretty pathetic one inasmuch we have to debate about a human life.

Answer 9

No, I have never given up one of my babies for adoption.  I would rather take care of my responsibility then take the life of something living.  I know I'd have a hard time either way, abortion or adoption.  My first son was conceived while I was on birth control and I never missed a day, but I consider him a blessing and abortion or adoption never crossed my mind.  

Answer 10

no i havent given a baby up for adoption but it would be hard.  but i would rather live.  I want to LIVE.

Answer 11

Agreed, a child IS NOT A GIFT, and should not be created to be given away

Answer 12

I assume this won't be up long cuz it's more of a rant than a question but here's what I think. Adoption is wonderful, I was adopted and it's a great option. It's also extremely hard to do. I have such deep respect for women who choose adoption instead of the easy way out but no doubt it's heart wrenching either way. I agree, it's not some simple solution but I'd prefer it to killing the baby which is also very hard to do.  

Answer 13

oh...that little bit of logic rarely enters the discourse,  most are so pissed at women for *gasp* "slutting around and "getting" themselves pregnant* (as if that's the only reason for pregnancies which end in abortion); hence any pain they will experience from adoption is necessary for their "redemption." as barack obama recently said, "some people take pride in being ignorant."

come on  people...let's put on our thinking caps.

ETA: iwas1...: "This is why so many who have abortions deal with depression and are 10x's more likely to be manic if they have another child due to the guilt in there own hearts."

--source please

ETA: wow...i step away and the pro-life brigade comes out...question, for all those who are so "breed and hand over the baby" what are your thoughts on contraception and s*x education??

sexuality, circumstances for becoming pregnant, pregnancy, adoption and yes...abortion are far too nuanced and complicated for simplistic answers.  like someone wrote, [paraphrased] "as long as drugs are around, we will need adoption."  ok, i buy that.  but, as long as sexuality is around, we'll also have abortion.  oh...did you all know that 30% of abortions are among MARRIED WOMEN??? oh...did you all also fail to take off your self-rightous hats for a minute and realize that all abortions are NOT elective?  therapeutic abortions (and i need not place the "rape card"--which is very offensive, btw) are likewise included in abortion stats...

ps. "i've never been pregnant nor given up a child for adoption but i think that ..." --STOP. i also think that everyone man who doesn't want children should have a vasectomy, but last i checked, i have no vas deferns. hence, it's a bit presumptuous for me to say what someone should do, if i have never nor can ever experience it. get the analogy?

-i stand by sen. obama's comment.

Answer 14

I agree with Shelly P

Answer 15

I have never been in either situation.  I would *think* (and this is my ignorant OPINION) that it would be easier to live with that fact that you placed your child in a loving family's arms rather than killing him/her during one of his/her most vulnerable times of life.

Why do people think adoption is another option rather than abortion?  Because it's obvious that the parent does not WANT the child if they're considering to kill him/her.

If you have an unplanned pregnancy and want the child- you then call it a baby and plan on parenting the child.  That's the best outcome.

Answer 16

Since no one has responded with a 'Yes, I've given up a baby for adoption', I will tell you my birth mother's story. It was a closed adoption, but I was lucky enough to find her when I was a teenager. After hearing the story of what she went through, I felt more respect, admiration,and love for her than you can imagine!

She was pregnant at 16. She knew her parents would want her to have an abortion so she hid the pregnancy until she was too far along to do so. She knew she wanted to place me for adoption so I could have a better life than she could provide on her own. She never, ever got over the loss of giving me up, even though she knew it was the right thing to do.

When she was 23, she gave birth to my sister, who she raised. When my sister would cry at night as a baby, my BM would wake up in bed thinking it was me and she had to find me. Every one of my birthdays was traumatic for her because she wanted to know what kind of people were raising me, what did I look like, what kind of person I turned out to be. Even still, she never regretted carrying me to full term and then letting me go without ever even seeing me (she was sedated when she gave birth to me).

Surprisely, as I am an adult adoptee, I am pro-choice. You can consider me selfish, but I would have had either an abortion or an open-adoption if I had experienced an unplanned pregnancy. There's no way I could send my baby blindly out into the world uncertain of who would raise them or how they'd be raised.

That's why I think my BM is the bravest, strongest, most amazing person I have ever met.

Answer 17

I would never get pregnant if I didn't want the child. On the other hand, If you do get pregnant because of your own carelessness doesn't the baby have the right to live and be given up for adoption? Should we really have the right to kill our unborn child. We don't have the right to kill them after they are born, although a doctor can abort a live baby and throw it in the trash to die. It happens all the time. I consider abortion an act of extreme selfishness.

Answer 18

The pro-life movement prefers adoption as an alternative to abortion, not an alternative to parenting.  If a pregnant woman is seeking an abortion, it is presumed she has already decided against being a parent.  

When I was a pregnant teen, I was under plenty of pressure to abort but no pressure to adopt,  When I went to Planned Parenthood and got my pregnancy test, they first presumed that I didn't use birth control (I did.  Birth control failure happens) and then it was presumed that abortion was the right choice for me.  Not: Have you considered abortion?  But: Well, if you used birth control, it wasn't your fault.  You're very young and should get an abortion.  I left and didn't go back.

In the end, I chose to parent and was very supported by my family and my church (most of which, is pro-life).  Not one of them tried to pressure me into adoption.  

Answer 19

i think adoption is the best. thers only half the guilt..AND THEY SHOULD MAKE YAHOO OPINIONS!!!IT WOULD BE ****** AWESOME!!!!=D

Answer 20

People who truly care about women who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies do everything that they can to help the women become loving mothers who parent their children.  Even the Catholic church is beginning to figure out that the best way to prevent abortion is to help women parent.  Some of their houses of shame of the baby scoop era have been converted into health care and day care centers for low income families.  Some are even residences and schools for young moms and their children.

People (some regulars here) who who say THE solution to an unplanned pregnancy is adoption are usually infertile people who are pissed that they can't turn back the clock to the baby scoop era decades when millions of women were forced by their families to give their babies away to total strangers.  They don't care a bit about the women, their children, or the extended families.  They only want a baybeee - they want it now and they want it cheap.

So, no, many people who equate pro-life to adoption have by no means given a baby up for adoption.  They have no clue about the h**l that most of these mothers go through because most of them do not know what it is like to create a new life and to give birth to your own flesh and blood.  Thus, it is easy for them to dismiss and trivialize the natural bond that mothers and fathers feel for their offspring.

Answer 21

[Because it's obvious that the parent does not WANT the child if they're considering to kill him/her.]

I just thought I'd actually contradict that notion because of something I've read (yes, in a published book).

In China, as most of us probably know, there is a One-Child Policy. If a set of parents give birth to a girl, they would have to kill the infant (by smothering her) in the hopes that they could give birth and it would end up being a boy - simply because the culture gives more preference and important to a male rather than a female. It's a cultural revulsion.

So no - a parent who is considering having to kill their own child doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love the child.

I love that I am still getting Thumbs Down even when I speak only of fact. It's not called an opinion. It is true. It is proven research.

BTW: I am pro-life, even if it doesn't seem that way according to my rants. There is more to adoption than just "adoption" or "abortion", people. Really. There is.

Answer 22

I agree with you.  Some people on here talk down to women in that situation and act like adoption is a simple thing.  I can't imagine carrying my baby for 9-10 months and then giving her up.  I admire those who can do that, but I don't for a second believe it's a simple thing to do.

Answer 23

I agree with  most of what you're saying. People who are pro-life act like it's a black-n-white issue with no shades of gray yet still say, "In case of rape, incest..." <--well, 'in case' anything then you are pro-choice...you're agreeing to the fact that a woman should have that choice 'in-case'.  Save the 'don't have s*x if you can't handle the responsibility' snit because we're human & well most humans like to get off, regardless of what our mind says.

Like I've said before I refuse to carry a child for 40 weeks, deliver & have to hand them over to some stranger...then to have to think about the welfare of that child for the rest of my life too?  Sounds selfish, maybe but I couldn't do it.  

Answer 24

I havent given a baby up, but my sister in law has adopted a baby from a teen mother. I know it is hard, terribly hard for the mother to think that the baby will grow up never being a part of her life. But, the baby will grow up (unlike abortion) and touch so many peoples lives.

I think that adoption is a great blessing for couples who experience infertility problems. The birth mother of the baby they adopted (shes now 4) had another baby about 18 months ago and tried to do it on her own, only to fall into drugs and have her taken away. My sister in law was just contacted yesterday and they will be adopting her and picking her up next month. My heart is so happy that their daughter will be with her sister and breaks at the same time to know what this baby has gone through to get here.

I know not everyone is meant to be a parent, and situations arise where pregnancies may need to be terminated (rape,medical issues) but to do it because that doesn't fit into your plans is just selfish and wrong.  

Answer 25

I've never understood the people who shout that "choosing life = adoption"  I don't get it.  What about parenting, that option is rarely mentioned by these people who are so quick to get into judging everyone elses personal business and choices

Answer 26

i totally agree with you!

when i was 15, i got pregnant with my son shane. i was lucky enough to have the support of my family and my boyfriends family.

abortion was never an option to me. it seemed like the easy way out. adoption wasnt ever an option either, because i already loved him to much before he was born :]

i made the decision to have s*x, and i accepted the consequences of my actions. to me, abortion and adoption are the "easy way out".

Answer 27

No one knows what it's like to give up a child unless they have.

Answer 28

The pro-life movement is connected to the adoption industry.  Yes, it is an INDUSTRY which needs a supply of babies to sell to paying customers.

Read "The Stork Market" (by Mirah Riben) to learn about how the adoption machine really works.

Answer 29

I am adamantly and vocally pro-life. I see adoption as a MUCH better option than abortion, BUT, I see parenting as a superior option to both those.

Sheesh.. I wish people would stop bringing up rape.. It's not like we COULDN'T have laws that ban abortion-on-demand while still allowing rape victims the option of termination, also in cases of medical necessity.. I get really sick of the "rape card," because it's a ridiculous argument. Sure, I realize how traumatizing it is. I don't think abortion is the RIGHT choice in case of rape, but I think a girl who's been through all that should have the option to decide how best she can get on with her life.. in other words..I'd be seriously hesitant to deny a rape victim the option of an abortion..  

But MOST abortions are simply because a woman wants the "right" to (Excuse my french) s***w around without dealing with the consequences. To  me it is just the ULTIMATE act of selfishness and arrogance to think you have that right, and to kill an unborn child because you didn't keep your legs closed.

I would never deny that putting a child up for adoption is NOT an easy thing to do.  But abortion shouldn't be an easy thing to do, either. IMO it should not be legal (except in cases of rape or medical necessity).  Murder should never be a "choice" that any woman can make.. IMO it is not "her" body.. it is her babie's.. is SHE the one who dies from the procedure?? I think not..

I have  no problem with (most) any woman keeping her child.. I DO have a big problem with her killing her child.

As for adoption.. as long as there are drugs and abuse, as long as there is DEATH, as long as there are people who can't keep their legs closed until they're married and ready for a child, it will always be necessary..

But I'd never suggest adoption to anyone unless it was between that and abortion, with parenting NOT an option.  In such a case.. I'd feel no guilt at all for so doing.

EDIT: Grapesgum.. I take great offense to you implying that infertile people would like to "Turn back the clock to the Baby Scoop Era"  That is a wrong, ignorant, and completely out-of-line statement. You know not whereof you speak.. Just because someone wants to adopt and have a family, doesn't  mean we want the kind of practices that were going on in the BSE.... or even that we have a problem with (most) any woman keeping  her child.

Grow up, find some counseling for that hate