People who easily get over breakups...?

Question

Would you consider that a positve thing or negative thing?

My opinion, positive. All to often you hear of these people, man or woman, who have utter emotional breakdowns because they are unable to let go of the person they are breaking up with. Sometimes it even goes as far as one of the partners threatening to commit suicided if the breakup proceeds.

Sure a breakup can be hard, but seriously, it's not the end of the world. There's plenty of fish in the sea and life's just too short to be emotionally shattered over one person.

Your're thoughts?

Answer 1

I think there's a "happy medium". It's not nice if someone gets over it too quickly either. A certain amount of time is usually a bit of respect for the other person.

Answer 2

It's an attitude which suggests that the relationship with the 'Significant Other' wasn't what it was cracked up to be, and that maybe Other was an 'insignificant other' ~ and thus the one who got over it it without any bruising really isn't up to 'significant relationships'.

He or She should possibly carry about them a ''Public Beware Notice''.

In other words, if a relationship is that easily got over ~ and anyway ~ there are plenty more fish in the sea, then s/he will more than likely continue in that vein and should best be avoided by anyone wanting a relationship which has 'a commitment' as part of its makeup.

Sash.

Answer 3

I suppose it depends on how long you have been with that person. A couple breaking up after a year would be less likely to suffer an emotional breakdown than the couple who had been married for, say 20 years. It must be extremely heartbreaking to break up with someone you have built your whole life with.

Answer 4

Two things come to mind.

1) How you feel about the other person at the time of the breakup.

a) His idea because he has alreadfy moved on or he's fed up and you got blindsided.

b)Your idea because you can't stand it anymore, even though you still have feelings.

c) Your idea because you have no feelings anymore.

Only in the case of 1c would you be over the breakup, quickly.

2) The length of time you were with someone.

a) Dated but weren't intimate.

b) Intimate and committed.

c) Intimate but not committed.

The longer you were with the person and the degree of  intimacy and committment would have left you with memories and imprints that will last at least half as long as your partnership lasted.

If you went out a short time and 2a applies; you never really got close: the breakup won't have any effect. You were just window shopping, anyhow.

In all other cases, it is going to take time to grieve and regroup,that is, provided you are a normal person with feelings of attachment.

C. :)

Answer 5

i totally agree, but, i mean wouldnt you be a little depressed if you were going out with someone for maybe a year  and they broke up with you.

Answer 6

Are you under the impression that the only two options are to EASILY get over it, or to completely fall apart? If so, you're wrong.

There's a lot of room between "Oh, well; there are other fish in the sea" (which shows a lack of feeling, and an inability to be intimate with another individual), and becoming a basket-case.

Neither extreme is good or healthy.

Answer 7

I think everyone is different in the way they handle loss.  I have to admit I never understood these people who act like the world has come to an end...and they grieve to the point of being morbid or obsessed.  I read about women who supposedly after their divorce or widowhood had nervous breakdowns and had to take to their beds for several months and I was like WTF?  Do they think life is some Victorian melodrama?  If I did that sort of thing,  I would've probably wound up living under a bridge somewhere!

I got divorced (not my choice) after 9 years of marriage.  Yes, it hurt. It hurt like h**l...still does to a certain degree.  But did the world stop? No.  Did I still get up, go to work, go about my business, and do it all over again the next day and the next day and the next? YES! I threw a lot of my grief and heartbreak into my work...and at first I tried dating but it was a big mess, so I took a 5 year haitus from it...while I healed and put myself through university.  Finally found Mr. Right 12 years after I divorced, but have been with him happily now for 7 years.

Now I'd be lying if I said that thoughts of suicide didn't cross my mind back then in that 1st year of the divorce (but also keep in mind I also had other stresses going on...I lost my mother to death six months after my divorce...and then lost my living space when the owner decided to come back to live in the house and we had moved from another state 9 months before my husband walked out on us).  However, I thought it over and realized that by killing myself, I wouldn't solve a thing.  Not only would I be cold in the ground, and the witch who stole my husband STILL have him, she'd also have my child too!  Thoughts of my daughter gave me a reason to live!Plus my child was depending on me...so why let her down by drowning in self-pity, right? Just cuz her dad couldn't keep his pants zipped. Nope,   I figure that tramp of a girlfriend may have my ex-husband... but NO WAY IN h**l was she getting my kid so easily!

Whatever works, eh? hahahaha...

but the opposite extreme isn't good either...folks who go on the rebound and even get remarried quick after a breakup. I know folks who do that and it's even worst off than before.

Answer 8

I guess I'm one of those people; it can take a while to adjust to not having someone in your life any more, but I'm usually quite resilient and I prefer to just look to the future. I find that trying out new things or spending time with new people can help you stay positive.

Some people may appear to handle break-ups well, but often they pretend they feel better than they actually do. I think there's an emotionally healthy balance between moving on too quickly and too slowly.

Answer 9

it feel like your world is ending,but really there a big world around you with millions of other people to go out with.it's hard because you put so much trust in that person and you open yourself up and it hard at first to do that all over again.

Answer 10

It probably just varies on how attached you are to the person and if you are the one doing the breaking up.

When I broke up with my most recent ex, I felt better than ever the next day.  Even the next minute.  It was like a weight was lifted off of me and I was able to breathe and see clearly.

She was not very attractive and we didn't have many hobbies in common.  So, I wasn't really that attached to her.  Though, I did and still do respect her.