Perception of social situations?

Question

i'm very introverted, i somtimes wish i weren't, but i am...and it makes my social life uncomfortable. i really don't like parties, no matter HOW good a party is, i'll probably feel myself wanting to leave several times through the night. i'm an observer...and if i i were able to just be invisible and watch from a distance, i'd feel far more at home, but the fact that i have to make pretend i like to be social makes me feel like a fake and i wonder if people can tell that i feel like a fish out of water. there are times when i really cant tell at ALL how i'm comming off. i don't know what amuses people at parties...i'm usually most amused by deep conversations on topics i'm interested in, but i think party people would find my conversations dull. i'm also looking to meet guys, which makes things even MORE confusing. i don't get men at ALL. i usually feel like they're ignoring me at first. i have no idea if i'm attractive or not, so i stay fairly reserved unless a person shows interest. i was talking to these two guys at this party i was at tonight, they were kind of joking with me...i really enjoyed the conversation and they were both staring at me A LOT. at first i think they like me, then i wonder if they're single, then i decide they're too attractive and probably are staring because they think i'm weird. how does one figure these things out? i tried making eye contact back....and as i left i gave a good stare, but i didn't get a number....so who knows. idk, my friend says i'm naturally really funny when talking to others....but i always feel like an akward fake. does any one have any tips on how to be social and how to read people in party settings when you're just bouncing from person to person.

here's me...but don't rate! just a visual. (i'm 20)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/22765038@N02/2223411505/

Answer 1

Well! I stay as far away from fakeness as humanly possible. And hence feel similar to you in a lot of ways. There is this one thing though: I'm totally comfortable in who I am, and I CHOOSE to be that way. Its not to try to be better than anyone else. I just totally love people, and people never benefit if they don't see the real me.

  So many times, people meet each other, give totally fake dazzling smiles, and the next moment gossip about each other behind each other's back!

  When who you are is 'solid' enough (not shaky or under confident) - people will be drawn to you! Having said so, if you feel desperate/ lonely/ unhappy/ unfulfilled now - finding a boy ain't doing it. If you ain't happy now, you won't be happy then.

  I remember a line from a popular show: "I'd rather be happy alone, than be sick with somebody else"! (i'm 24) :)

Answer 2

Wow. You are rather attractive and I'm not just saying this.

I am the same way: a great big introvert. I know exactly how you feel: awkward around most people, at parties, near people of the opposite s*x, making conversation, etc.

Take things slow. That's what I'm doing. Unless you feel very comfortable with yourself and your surroundings, I suggest you begin with just light conversation like simple "Hello, I'm [insert name here]" or "Nice party" or something. Try looking at the bright side of these situations, not thinking about what bad things may or may not happen. Just use small talk.

Also, WikiHow is a really great site for How-To's and includes tips on how to make conversation, how to boost self confidence, etc. It helped me a bit and I hope it can help you. I've listed some good topics down below. The last link can also be very helpful when pertaining to things such as those guys staring at you. It's about reading body language, which can be very, very helpful.

Good luck! Just think confidently and stick your toe in the water once in a while. Who knows, maybe the water will be just right sometimes.