Personality <span title="Issues...................................?">Issues......................</span>

Question

I don't understand, by nature I am sensitive, caring, and always willing to help (or at least I was). What I need help understanding is that If I'm shy and quiet then i'm too boring to hang around with or in the case of girls become their boyfriend. If I'm loud and outspoken then I'm too loud and maybe I say things that are insensitive to some. If I'm caring and giving then people soon start to take advantage of me and people will at least "pretend' to be my friends because it benefits them (which is not good). If I set my foot down and show people that I'm nobody's fool, than I'm a selfish *****hole who nobody wants to be around with. If I'm political and diplomatic about things, I soon become a pushover. But If I speak my mind then I'm just a negative sh**t talker. If I live life the way I was raised (serious for the most part) then I'm too dry and have no sense of humor. If try to start joking around, then I go "overboard" and start acting like a child. If I try to add humor to a conversation by being sarcastic than I'm just obnoxious but If I am serious than I am just a boring dry guy. I don't understand......I've never been able to find a middle ground throughout my life in every aspect. In this case personality....I'm either too serious or too much of a clown....any suggestions???

Answer 1

To thine own self be true...

It is typical of the sensitive caring types among us to want those around us to feel comfortable.

The reality of life is that no matter what balance you find, no matter how you modify your behavior, there are STILL going to be people who find you obnoxious, annoying, boring, etc., etc.  In other words, they just won&#039;t like you.

The best choice is to be yourself.  Use basic manners, and judge what is comfortable to you in a given environment, but stick to your natural reactions.  

If you are serious most of the time, but have a kick ***, sarcastic streak of humor, you&#039;re going to p**s a few people off, but others are going to be doubled over with laughter.  

Stand your ground when it matters, but if it really makes no big difference to you in the long run, then let it go.  Will it matter to you next year?  Or even tomorrow?  If yes, then it might be worth fighting for...if not, it&#039;s probably not worth the energy.

Don&#039;t hesitate to care and help, but do so on your own terms.  You&#039;re not wrong to protect your heart and feelings, in fact, you&#039;re foolish if you don&#039;t.  You can give and still draw the line when you start to feel it is an imposition.  At that point, you are not really giving anyway, you&#039;re being coerced.  

It&#039;s also fine to set boundaries with those you help...once someone has demonstrated through their actions and behaviors that they value your time and friendship in the same way you do theirs, then it makes sense to be willing to invest more of yourself.

The thing is, you have to determine your comfort level beforehand.  Have an idea of the point that you feel is unreasonable for a newfound friend or casual acquaintance, and when you reach it, give the situation a little push.  See how they react...then, you will know what to expect before you get too invested.  

It&#039;s also helpful to establish relationship expectations within yourself so that the behavior of others doesn&#039;t bother you so much.  My personal philosophy, due to my personality type (which, by the way, i share with only 2-3% of the population, lol) is that most people in my life will be acquaintances by my definition, some closer than others, but still acquaintances...the people I number as true friends is a very small number, but that is because I already know that most of the people who come through my life simply have no concept or interest in the level of &quot;deep&quot; where I exist.  

Lol, I think about things that most of them could care less about, but because I know this already, I don&#039;t let it annoy and upset me the way it did when I was younger.  

Laugh when you want to laugh, and there&#039;s nothing wrong with being childish and carefree sometimes.  It just means you&#039;re healthy and balanced enough to relax and appreciate life.

The people who are meant to be a part of your life will be.  Some for a moment in time, some will be there from start to finish.  The ones who are meant to love and care for you will, and the rest are simply passing through.

Just be who you are, and those who are meant to find you, and like you, will.  

Answer 2

I think it boils down to the people around you.  Don&#039;t assess yourself by what other people think.  Be who you are, who you want to be.  If people don&#039;t like it, they don&#039;t have to hang around.  Find your own middle ground and stick with it.  Don&#039;t worry about what other people think.

Answer 3

Don&#039;t think about it too hard. Just try to be a little funny yet serious yet caring, and someone will fall for you. In fact, nobody has a perfectly likeable personality. Just think about what you say before you say it, and that should help.

Answer 4

Maybe because it seems you have tried to become so many different personalities..nobody knows where they stand with you.

Like for e.g. my friend speaks his mind.. and nobody cares or takes it the wrong way as they know he is just like that.

I, on the other hand..i am very shy..so if i all of a sudden started to speak my mind, people would be confused and intimidated.

Be yourself and stick to it!

Hope i helped