Persuasive letter essay need someone to tell me if anything needs to be changed asap?

Question

my assignment is (from: Les Miserables by:victor hugo)

Persuasive letter: Imagine you are Madame Magloire. You think it was a very bad idea for the bishop to invite the stranger to stay. Write a letter to the bishop trying to persuade him to make the man leave in the morning. Be sure to give definite reasons why you think he should leave. Also acknowledge the bishop's feelings and tell him why you think he is wrong this time.

My Letter:

Dear Bishop,

I want to argue in favor of letting this stranger stay. I believe it is a bad idea because of his history. He is an ex-convict that just got released after doing nineteen years in the galleys. He has been convicted for burglary. Everyone else truned him away because of his history shown on his yellow passport. The townspeople were all talking about locking everything up to be safe. By welcoming him in and letting his stay makes us more venerable to what could happen. You're doing a good thing by giving him some food and drink but he is a dangerous guy. We really don't know much about him. By letting him stay he could have the opportunity to rip you and this house of Christ off. So I think it's better for everyone if he leaves in the morning.

Answer 1

I'm not an English pro so maybe don't go off what I say but my opinion is:

"I want to argue in favor of letting this stranger stay" Don't start your letter off like that because you're going to argue your point in the letter. I mean why bother ready the rest of it if you already know to point you're trying to make.

Dear Bishop,

In the name of Jesus I believe its a bad idea letting this convict stay.

Everyone else turned him away because of his history shown on his yellow passport. He is an ex-convict that has just been released from jail for conviction of burglary. The townspeople were all talking about locking everything up to be safe. You are putting us at risk of being robbed or slaughtered, only god knows what could happen to us.

You're doing a good thing by giving him some food and drink but he is a dangerous man, he was sent to prison for a reason. We really don't know much about him. God bless you for being such a good Samaritan, but this man could rip you and this house of Christ off.

Not only are you putting our lives in danger but our reputation in this good community could be at stake; how will people trust their church if you are bringing a sinner to their safe heaven. I think it's better for everyone if he leaves in the morning.

I dunno how that sounds. But yeah