Pictures of my boyfriends deceased ex -girlfriend?

Question

Ok my boyfriend is the best man I've ever met, we both 30yrs and living the life, we travel and go out alot. He loves me very much, I met his parents only after 1m and 1/2, so our relationship was this instant dynamic attraction thing its was alot of excitement, today 6 months later we are so in love with each other and enjoy each other so much. He was single for about 3 years. He has always been in long term relationships. His first GF passed away, they dated for about 4ys from HS to his 2nd yr in college. He said they were broken up for about 3 months b/c she cheated on him, then she got ill and died in the Hospital in NY, he says her mom kept telling her he was comming to see her, and he says she kept calling and he said her would and decided to head back to School in VA from his home in NY. This was the sadest story I ever heard I cant imagine the pain he went through. Well he has pics lots of pics and when he first showed me the pics he was acting like he was showing off about all these pretty ladies. Then their was these pics seperated in an envelope he didn't want to show it to me, he said I really dont want to see him kissing and hugging this girl it was the one that passed away. I felt jeolous, why still today, don't know if he got over that. I wonder, he acts normal and I think I'm being insecure. He never tries to hide anything, I put the pics up b/c he told me to put our office together, so he never hides anything. Why still today when I see that envelope I feel so weird and is he suppose to get rid off it when we get married, I would want him to keep something just out of respect for her. Dont' know, I think I'm just so insecure!

Answer 1

"he says her mom kept telling her he was comming to see her, and he says she kept calling and he said her would and decided to head back to School in VA from his home in NY"

So his ex gf was dying in the hospital, he said he would go to see her, but he didnt, even though she was calling him? Wow great guy. You guys deserve each other.

Answer 2

i would watch out for this guy, he might unresolved issues about her

Answer 3

He doesn't want you to see those pictures because he doesn't want to rub a previous relationship in your face. Also, the memories are probably quite painful.

There's nothing to be jealous of, she's not a threat anymore and he should be allowed to keep precious memories of someone who was important to him who is not around anymore

Answer 4

well i think it should be his decition...

Answer 5

i agree, i think ur being insecure, i personally don't think there's anything wrong with him keeping her pics, prob just out of respect for her. i know if i had an ex's pics and they happened to die i wouldn't throw them out cuz i would feel like they're dying all over again *symbolism*...but that's just my opinion.

Answer 6

I just can't believe that you are jealous of a dead person.  it just does not make sense.  I think you and he need more time before you get married.  You need to become more secure in his love for you.  Everyone has a past gf or bf.  He has been open and honest with you from the very start.  Why don't you trust him to love you.  She is not ever going to be around other than in pictures.  i really doubt that he would ever hang a picture of her in your home, so let it go.

Suggest that you and he pack up a memory box to put away.  In years to come, he can look back at his life. That is what pictures are for.  By then you will know for sure that he loves you.  Just please don't get married until you are together longer and you feel more confident about his love.

Answer 7

You need some professional help before you drive this "best man you ever met" away with your unfounded jealousy and immaturity.  The girl is dead, for crying out loud.  Grow up.

Answer 8

You are trippin' the woman is dead!!!  Dang if you are insecure over a dead chick - I would hate to see how you act over chicks in his normal day to day living.....

You need to pull it together or your insecurities will make you lose the so called best thing that ever happened to you......

You need a hobby......

Answer 9

Yeah dude the girl has passed away.. then again I see where you're coming from.. There's nothing wrong with him holding on tothem i guess, out of respect.. It's when he begins to look at the photos everyday , etc you can start worrying & talk to him abut it.. but as far as the pics just being in his possession shouldn't be too hard.. Let him know how yo ufeel about it, & tell him everything you feel, & he'll make a decision on what to do.. just try no tto make it sound like you're nagging.. :) It shouldn't be a big deal.. I mean, it's not really after all :)

Answer 10

She is dead.  How much competition could she really be?  He will get rid of it when he is ready.  I would not worry about it.

Answer 11

You don't feel like you have all of him.

I meet guys that have lost their girlfriends, wives, ex's all the time.

I ask them questions about them. I like to see where I stand.

If I feel like they are not ready. I hold my heart and wait and see. Only time will tell.

The one thing you know already is that she is not physically coming through any door for him.

Answer 12

Don't worry. It is kind of hard to understand what you are asking because it sounds like your question is just all of your thoughts as fast as you can think them. I think I get what you are asking and I do not think it is anything to be jealous about. I would sneak and look at those pictures as soon as he was not around though. Just to see if she was prettier then me. She is never going to come back into his life and he may take years to get over her. She cheated on him so there are probably a lot of mixed feelings of hurt, pain, anger and betrayal. To go along with coping with her passing away.  

Answer 13

She is no longer living. You have nothing to be jealous about.  

Answer 14

its normal your just a really jealous person like me , it happens , I'm sorry Hunny =[

Answer 15

She is no threat to you leave him be.  My wife has picks of some of her ex's and I have pics of some of mine in photo albums.  It is a part of his life.  Nothing more.  It is over now but you shouldn't ask him to give up his picks.  

My uncle had the same think happen his girl died while he was in college now he is in his 50's and never been married.  He was getting real close with this girl and one day she said she was sorry she couldnt compete with a ghost.  she is a *****.  If she wouldn't have said that I think they would have got married.

Answer 16

It sounds like he really cared about this girl and it sounds like he never made peace with her. He sounds like he is upset about that. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less. He just needs time to heal. Let it go and just focus on you 2. Eventually he will be ready to move on.