Pirate Help?

Question

I want to buy a real wooden pirate ship. Ya know like they used in the old days. Where would I buy one. And where could I also by a smaller boat but could stand a trip across the ocean. Also where could i get like machine guns and sniper rifles on the downlow no questions. Thank you ahead of time

Answer 1

oooooh aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Answer 2

ARE YOU FCUKING STUPID?

Answer 3

You can find all of this, and more,  in the harbors of the South China Sea.

By the way, there are REAL PIRATES in those waters.