Planning on adoption?

Question

Hello all to those who have adopted. If you had a friend who was planning on adoption in a year or two, what advice would you give about making sure the "house" was in order. (Probably a domestic adoption or foster care/ adoption)

Answer 1

If you are talking about the physical House....and my input would address the Foster care adoptions....

1) Living space for each member of the family is generally outlined by the state and will usually include Square Footage issues within the actual bedroom as well as insuring that different genders have their own sleeping and dressing areas.

2) Fire Safety: Smoke detectors--emergency exit plans (posted) and Upstairs escape tools such as a window drop out ladder... and Fire extinguishers located in the areas of the home that are risk factors.

3) Interior Locking doors.... In some states there can be No Interior doors which may be locked from the inside or the outside with the exception of the Bathroom privacy locks. This is to insure that children will not be locked into a room and parents will not be locked out of a room.

4) Clean and Fancy is not the issue--Safe and Sanitary is...

5) Cleaning products and Houshold chemicals need to be over secure... labled and out of reach and behind child-safty locks...

6) Firearms... While families have the constitutional rights to bare arms...Any guns must be locked and all ammo must be located in a different area of the home and also locked. Firearms must be legally owned and registered and in some cases parents would be required to show proof they have training and certification to use a firearm....

7) We were asked to define the rooms in our home--and discuss the rooms we would allow our children to Enter and for what reasons we would or would not allow entry... which was an interesting set of questions to me....  they read as:

"Do you allow children to play in every room of your home?"

"Do you allow children to sleep in parents bedrooms--if so why and when?"

"Do you allow Children to play in the: each room"

"Do you allow children access to the bathrooms freely"

"Are there any rooms or structures on your property that children are not permitted?"

I still have no clue what all of this line of questioning was intended to point out other then to perhaps more clearly identify boundaries....?  I would assume that children sleeping in the parents rooms would be an issue especially for a child placed from Foster Care.... It would seem logical the state would not want children sharing a family bed with their new parents as that is a red-flag! I would assume that the state would want children to have access to a toliet and I would assume that a locked garage or shed was desired....I would also assume the state would want to be sure families were not so rigid as to only allow a child to play in their bedroom but not in the living room.... Children should have lots of places to play and should not be isolated... Therefore I assume these questions were asked to obtain an additional picture of the Family restrictions or freedoms the parents enter into an adoption with....

8) Child proofing depending on the age of the child being placed... Plug covers for toddlers but not needed for 5 yr olds as 5 yr olds can pull them out..... We installed the magnetic Cupboard and drawer locks in the kitchen, bath and laundry rooms.

Answer 2

i think my advice to that friend would be:are they willing to accept the child or children for who they are,the backround that they are coming from,are they willing to help them with any emotionall issues that they might have or give them 100%of love and not judge them cuz of their past or the atmosphere they comed from. also i think they should let the kids make feel like thats their house as well because if you tell them ok this is mine area and this is your area that you can play or whatever in a way it would hurt them and they never would really feel like they belong in a way.if that friend do a foreign adoption (young kids)they must lock up all the chemicals or poisons if they can't read or understan english.

i guess mainly let the kids have their own space (in a way)make sure its a happy home and that they are ready for a complete strangers to enter their home share their lives with.

Answer 3

Happymom and Wholelottacats had great comments on doing research and "getting the house in order".  I'd just like to add that regardless of which adoption route is chosen, there will be some certificate documents that you will have to provide: birth certificates, marriage certificates (if applicable), divorce decrees (if applicable) tax forms and W2s going back at least three years.  Some people are really super-organized and have all of these things on file.  The rest of us have to send away to the state of birth/marriage.  So, no matter which method of adoption is selected, you will need these things.  They take time to arrive, so might as well get them on hand!

And of course, research, research research!  Read, attend workshops and seminars, etc.  

Good luck.

Answer 4

when we had our home study house visit conducted they looked to see if the house was child safe clean and f the child had their own room bed etc. and if it looked like a healthy  stable environment to bring a child home to.

Answer 5

The previous posters have great advice.  I would like to make one suggestion.  Take into account the wait/process time for the adoption.  From chatting with others who are adopting, it is not unusual for the wait to be 18-24 months from the date of beginning paperwork to placement.  DH and I began paperwork in July 2006 and have yet to be placed.

Answer 6

Start reading now! Start with a basic overview of adoption - The Idiots Guide is a good source of general information, talking about all of the different types of adoption and what to expect. Then, move on to specific books about issues/concerns for the adopted child: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, The Primal Wound, Raising Adopted Children.  If the child will be a different race than you: Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib; Inside Transracial Adoption; In Their Own Voices. Research, Research, Research!

As far as the house: Obviously, a room for the child. If you are adopting a child from foster care, you'll need to have the room set up. For infant adoption, you aren't required to have baby proofing, etc. done before you adopt.  What you will need is an adequate number of smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, a fire escape plan. Take care of any safety issues: wiring that needs to be redone, lose tiles, fencing around a pool, possibly fencing your back yard, cleaning solutions secured or up high - anything that would be a safety concern. They aren't going to check your closets or your junk drawer - but now is the time to get those things done anyway!

The most important part of it, though, is to take the time to REALLY find out about adoption and what is involved - what adoption will mean for the child. Research ethical adoptions, and make your decisions based upon what is best for the child.

Good luck to you! (Or to your friend, if this wasn't about you adopting.)

ETA: I would still say do the reading, it's still the place to start!

Financial - be prepared to show that you are financially capable of supporting a child. Start gathering all of your financial information now. Give yourself a budget, try living under the budget, building yourself a security cushion.

Family - talk to your family now to tell them what you are thinking, see how they feel, how much support you will have. You may have a desire to adopt, but remember that this will be your child's family, as well. It's vital to have that support.

Emotionally:  again - start the reading now!

Answer 7

All the plugs need to be covered.  If you don't have children you don't think of this, but with little ones they get curious.  Get plug covers and latches on the cabinets.