Planning to adopt a child. We already have a biological child Want to know how to convince our parents?

Question

Planning to adopt a child. We already have a biological child Want to know how to convince our parents?

Answer 1

Tell them this little child will become President one day and very rich.

Answer 2

I don't understand the question. What is it that you want to know how to convince your parents of? You are the parents aren't you? What does the biological child have to do with the question? Are you "planning to adopt a child?" Or are you in the process of deciding whether to adopt a child? What is involved in the planning? Asking if it's okay with your parents?What about your friends and neighbors? Are they involved in the process too? Were they involved in the "planning" of your biological child as well? When you adopt a child, you have to make an agreement with the birthparents and perhaps an agency or a couple of lawyers. Grandparents and other family members are not involved in the convincing stage.

Answer 3

I hate to be harsh, but you are either adults or you are not. If you need your parents permission to adopt, then do a child a favor and DON'T.  They need adults to adopt them, not someone who feels they need to please their parents.

Answer 4

i'm sorry but i don't get it

why do you have to ask your parent's permission. you are ADULTS. you have a CHILD. you can do whatever the ***** you want

did you had to ask your parents permission to have the first child, cuz if you did there's something really screwed up there

Answer 5

You can't convince someone who doesn't want  what you want. My husband and I have two bio children and two adopted children. Both times we chose to adopt his parents were not on board. They came up with every bad scenario to try and deter us. Our first adoption went quickly but our daughter is having alot of problems ( an older adoption). Our second adoption has taken alot longer but he is happily well adjusted. The in-laws still think we made a bad choice ( with the first one) but despite the issues we have, they can't deny the love they have experienced through this wonderful process. They realized hubby and I were going to do it with or without them...they relaxed and had to get on board or miss out on the small stuff. We were happy that they chose to get on board. We took precautions and got our two bio kids into therapy, included everyone closely involved as much as we needed, and more importantly we did what was in the best interest of our immediate family as a whole. Our children were adopted though social services.

Answer 6

I would simply tell them what joy this would bring you and if this fails I would do what makes you happy , life is to short to not please yourself in matters of this kind.

Answer 7

ok, let me apologize in advance if i come off as rude. but seriously, if you are old enough to raise children why do you need permission from your parents? parents that try to dictate to their grown children how to run their life make me crazy.

if they are intelligent people and love you than i would think they would be happy and supportive. if they arent then tough for them. when my parents decided to adopt me, dads mom got very hostile and went so far as to tell them "if you adopt that bast*rd kid you will no longer be a part of my life"

dad told her if she wanted to be that way, fine. needless to say i was adopted and the whole family accepted me, except her. she was a horrible woman and treated my mom like c**p because she had two miscarriages, she on the other hand was able to carry 8 children. she told my mom that she was a better woman because she could have children and my mom couldnt.

do not allow your parents to control your life. if you want to adopt do it. if they are against it they will either get over it or they wont. raise your family the way you see fit. they did their time raising you, they should be proud they raised such a loving person that wants to share the love they have with a child that doesnt have anyone else to.

good luck ♥

Answer 8

Let them know that you and your husband have been praying alot about a second child.  Tell them that the Lord putin on your heart to adopt.  And now, he has opened many doors to show you that this is the right thing to do.  

They might feel strange about it at first.  But, in my experience with families who have adopted their second child, the families come around.  The love the adopted grandchild just as much as they do their own grandchild

Answer 9

My extended family and my spouses family were very concerned about us adopting.  We decided not to try to convince them.  We explained that they will have 2 more grandchildren and that it was important for the children to feel accepted by everyone.  And we left it at that.  If they want access to your current child they will find away to make the new child feel welcomed.

Answer 10

I gave up my daughter up 35 years ago, but I have since found her, she has always had issues with her life, and one issue was that her grandpa, never loved her because she was adopted. That is so sad. I guess my point is this, everyone is different and your parents will probably love your adopted child, but maybe not.

Answer 11

I dont think its up to your parents, the child isnt going to be theirs. You're an adult, Mommy and Daddy dont have a say anymore.

Answer 12

Personally I think you shouldnt have to convince your parents. You are adults and have a child of your own. If they dont agree with it then tough luck, this is yours and your partners decision not your parents.

Good Luck

Answer 13

I'm sorry, I just don't understand why your parents would play such a powerful role in such a personal decision.  You have already birthed a child of your own.  Now it is your desire to raise another who needs you as a parent for whatever reason.  

You don't have to convince anyone other than yourselves about what is right for you (unless you are still claimed as a dependent on someone Else's tax return, or you are a minor, or you are a person with diminished mental capacities).

Figure out what is best for the situation, make the decision, and be committed for the duration (and don't waste time if it is valuable in this instance).  Simple.

Hope this helps.

Lori

Answer 14

Don't worry about convincing your parents.  Our parents knew that if, after the adoption, there was anyone who couldn't or wouldn't accept the adoption or the kids that the person wouldn't continue to be an integral part of our lives any more.

There is no one in our extended family as important to us as our children.  They are important, don't get me wrong...but our kids are more important & if they can't/won't accept the kids, well then they can't/won't accept us either.  Period.

We had no problems with anyone in our family not accepting the girls.  They all love the girls as if they were biologically related to them.

This is your decision & while it would be wonderful to have their buy-in, it's not essential for your successful adoption.

Answer 15

my mom tells the story that my grandmother was completely set against adopting my sister and I (we're twins).  She thought it would be too hard on my mom and more than she could handle.  All it took was for her to hold us....and....she had GRANDKIDS.  That's what it really takes...the first smiles, that sweet baby smell, the little coos and wonderful moments of infancy that reel grandparents in like a dog to a bone.  Don't sweat it.  When big sib pronounces they taught the baby to  (fill in blank) they will be all proud....you'll even hear "smart like my side of the family" before too long.  Let that baby work it's magic.  After all, we're terribly cute as babies for a reason!