Question:

Play groups...yes or no?

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Okay, so I have been "accepted" to be in a little playgroup in my town. The only reason I want to do it is so my daughter can be social, not for me by any means. I'm a first time mom and really enjoying being a mother, feel that I've tackled the job well, etc. However, I was always a tom boy growing up and never liked the girly girl cliches because I hated all of the drama. Also, I feel that moms compete way too much with each other these days and it is way out of hand. Why the competition...but that's another question for another day. If anyone else does the playgroups I'd like to know what they are like and if I should be nervous? Have they helped your child be social? If it turns out that I really hate it but DD loves it, what can I do to make myself tolerate it? tMaybe I'm this way cause my mom never put me in a playgroup!!! LOL. Thanks.

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  1. Yeh I had an attitude a bit like yours too, I was nervous and all that, and that lasted for I dunno, about 2 sessions hehe. We were all complete strangers to each other and the child health centre nurse encouraged us to meet up after the info sessions were over, and that is how our mums group was born. I moved away 7 months ago and my daughter is now 2 and a half and the mothers group broke up when I left, but I still contact them regularly on the computer. No regrets, they weren't people I would normally have the opportunity to meet but just by being mums we shared a real bond and I am glad to have gotten to know them : )

    Our group was a real mix too, one wealthy 31 year old, a quiet 36 yr old, a 26 yo L*****n mum and a 23 year old mum of 3 (who had her first at 16) and then me, a 20 year old mum. Very VERY different from each other, but it was great


  2. I am in a mom group and I love it.  Granted, our babies range from 3-6 months so they aren't really "socializing" yet...just smiling and staring at each other, and cooing together.  

    Thankfully no one in our group seems pushy or competitive. I think I am one of the youngest moms in our group (late 20s); everyone else appears to be in their early to mid 30s.  I don't know if that has anything to do with the dynamic, but we all get on very well.

    You didn't say how old your daughter is, but I would definitely recommend giving it a shot.  You both may really enjoy it!  Good luck.

  3. how about you go and try and find a mom you can get on with who probably feels the same way (i'm sure there are LOTS out there) and then you can arrange to take turns taking the little ones to the group? My mom was never too sociable either and she did that. It help us socialize more too as once we were all settled then mom wasn't always the one who came with us, so we were more likely to go off and play with others.

  4. lmao...sure blame it on your mom!! I don't go to a structured play group, but we do meet with a few other moms about once a week for activities like swimming, going for walks, going to the park etc. We took an infant massage class and a baby food making class and a couple of the other moms and myself got along really well so we decided to get together at least once a week either at a pool, someones house the animal farm... and let the babies play. But we don't gossip, maybe once in a while we tell the 'you'll never believe what my husband, boyfriend, sister mother did to me' but were not like 'OMG did you see Sadie's diaper bag? what a loser she must be so poor...' 'Hillary and her boss ya know?'

    Maybe go to the play group and if you do hate it I'm sure you will meet at least one or two moms that you really will like, so maybe you could ask them if they want to take their babies swimming with you and your DD or go to the park and then you can tell them, today was really enjoyable, I would like to do this again, do you think you could fit this into your schedule once a week? I don't think I'll be going back to play group either its just not for us!

    I do think socializing is important for babies and kids, and after a few visits it gets so cute cause the babies reconize each other. My son already has his first crush from play group lol. When he sees her they both get so excited and smile the biggest smiles its so funny

    But also remember I bet all the moms there felt similar feelings when they fist started the group.

    but what do you mean you were 'accepted' to the group?

  5. I would say just have your daughter join the playgroup. If you don't really want to socialize with the other mothers, that is your choice. Just try not to be mean and when you see them for playday, just say hi and how are you's. Take a book with you to read and watch your child. If the other mothers want to gossip let them. If they are smart they will just let you be and allow your child to play with theirs because socialization is veery important for toddlers. I would not be offended if you did that and I was in the play group. I will be a first time mother soon also and I find that the children should come first. If they are having fun, why separate them because you don't want to deal with their drama and gossip?! Good luck hun!

  6. I completely hear what you are saying.  I have hesitated getting involved in a play group for the same reasons.  Maybe you could try getting to know the moms and then pick one that you really like.  Then try and get together for play dates with her and her child(ren).  I am doing this right now.  I like it better because there is no drama and competition.  You just chat together while your kids play.  

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