Playground etiquitte?Who is right/wrong?

Question

I took my kids to busy park this evening. There were kids running around all over with no supervision...I had to tell several to not through water bottles like rockets ( half full ones), as well as to not climb back up the slide once they slide down.... To top it off there were only two toddler swings where sat two little kids with their Mom's pushing. My daughter and I waited for 3 minutes, at which time 1 mother made a feeble attempt to take out her son, when he cried she looked at me defeatedly and commenced to pushing him. The other mother made notice and "tried" to take out her daughter with the same lame display of failure when the child whined. I was floored, as each gave me this look like as if to say "would you break this poor childs heart and make me take them out of the swing, you can see how they would be scarred if I used my force to pry them from the thing they need most right now". Never mind that my daughter waited patiently for three minutes only to have her mother turn to her and say "Sorry honey, we will come back later when these women figure out how to get their kids off the swing". While I know that it would be worse to tell them what I really thought, then and there at the top of my lungs, I still feel like I should have done something more. What should I have done? I hope i didn't send the wrong message to my girl, that she should steep aside in situations like this? What do you think?

Answer 1

Honestly?  Three minutes is not a long time to wait for a swing.  Now, for the rest of it...I totally agree!  Parents tend to let their kids go wild at parks.  It is horrible!!  Kids have little respect for others and manners just don't exist anymore!!  I found that if you go with a few friends for a playdate, the other moms tend to leave sooner!!

Answer 2

I completely understand your thinking. I think the most important lesson for your daughter is patience. You should find something else to do until the swing is available. There really isn't anything else to do. Wait your turn. Just the way the world works. Some parents let the kids run things, others watch, thankful that their kids know better.

Answer 3

i kind of agree with the person who said that you are making a big deal out if it..i think you should have taken your daughter somewhere else until a swing was free..you can not expect them to remove their child because your child wants to swing however i do think after about 10 minutes they should have moved...i would have probably said real loud lets go play on the slide so these mommys can teach their kids to share ok...so they could hear..but as i said thy should not have to move their child just because yours is ready to swing..but i do think a 10-15 minute limit is needed by no means 3 minutes what kind of swing is that

Answer 4

I don't think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill at all. This always happens on the playgrounds in my neighborhood. Most of the parents here aren't even with their kids at the playground. Anyhow, I don't think your daughter should have had to leave because the others were not being fair. Maybe you could have done another activity while the swing was occupied. However, The other mothers should have  explained to them that we need to share with all of the other children who want to play and taken their children out ; and then maybe the two of you could have set a time limit. That you would only swing your daughter for a few minutes and then hand the swing back over to her, since they were there first.

And show your appreciation. but the other parent would not have liked it if it were reversed and she needed to remember that when doing it to you. My mouth dropped when i read this. Because we as parents set the example for our children; if we don't teach them, they will not learn.

Answer 5

This is my opinion and you can do with it what you want. Let me get this straight, your at a public park that only has 2 swings that are being used correct. Than you timed how long you waited? Were there other toys for your daughter to play on?  I'm assuming yes since your at a "public park" and you have already played playground police with the water bottles and kids not using the ladder at the slide! And your worried about sending your little girl the wrong message by not waiting her turn for a swing. Think about the message you sent her when you were playing playground police! I know we all have our moments but I think this was a little extreme!  

Answer 6

Although I agree with you on making your adult presence known on the playground( bottles, and slide).  I really think that the exact thing you are trying to teach your child is innapropriate you reinforced by your own behavior.

Look just because your child wanted that swing right now doesn't mean she should get it...Yes waiting in line is right but three min isnt that long...and you had no idea how long those kids waited to get on the swings.....You should have taken the opportunity to show your child that sometimes you can't have what you want as soon as you want it...Instead you made nasty off hand comments...Think about what lesson you taught your child ?  When you don't get what you want you can talk to people how ever she wants...

Look we all make these kind of misstakes at some point or another...In one sence you seem to want to teach your child how to be safe and responsible ( by the reaction and correction of the other kids) but its much tougher to look at ourselves and how we react to situations....Its even tougher to correct them...

I hope I was able to give you another view of your situation...

What I would have done is get my child to go down the slide a couple more times, and explain to her that these other kids had also waited to get on the swings.  I would have asked the moms if they could give us a wave when thier kids were finished....Rather than trying to bully them into getting their kids off the swings.....We must play nice on the playground...lol

Answer 7

I don't think it is really a big deal.  Why didn't you go on a big swing and just hold your daughter.  I did that many times with mine along with putting her in a toddler swing.  There is no time limits at public parks and it was nice that the mom's even made an effort to take there kids out of the swing because they really didn't have to.  Also waiting 3 minutes is really not that long to wait.  Haven't you waited longer when going to a restaurant?  What did you do then, did you put up a fuss because people were not eating fast enough?   I can see that you might be a little disappointed that you could not push you daughter on the swings, but the other children were having fun on them.  At least it was toddlers on the swings and not teenagers, which I have seen all to often.  

Answer 8

I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. You cannot expect everyone to accommodate you right when you want it. Why wouldn't you have taken your daughter elsewhere to play until a swing was free?

What more could you have done? That is a public playground, not your private backyard. It's not like you could have told them to get off because your daughter wanted to swing.

Answer 9

I hate when parents take their kids places and don't watch them. We went to a WATER park and there was a 3-4 year old trying to play with my daughter trying to bring her out into deeper water, you know they can't swim well, what if something happened ya know... drives me nuts.

I think you did the right thing by not saying anything, especially in front of your daughter. Some parents are just like that... selfish and all... I think if it happens again you should stop and get her a treat, candy, ice cream, something she enjoys  and tell her you were proud of her for waiting patiently, because that's a big thing, I know my daughter wouldn't  have been able to.

Answer 10

haha yep people thease days!

Answer 11

People are inconsiderate and parents are just really uninformed these days.  They don't want their kids to cry when they go to sleep so they let them sleep in their bed - DANGEROUS!  They don't want their kids to cry at the store so they buy them whatever they want - SPOILED!  They don't want their kids to cry so the kids run their lives!  Hello!  Who is the adult here?  Who is in charge?

I don't think you sent the wrong message to your daughter.  Just teach her to be respectful of others.  The reality of life is that there are disappointments and sometimes we don't get to do things we want to.  Teaching her how to deal with frustration and disappointment in a constructive way will be a life skill that is invaluable to her!

There isn't anything you can do in these situations.  These poor Moms are just ignorant.  They are trying to do the best for their kids.  I feel sorry for them because their kids are running their lives.  How stressed they must be always trying to keep them from crying!!!

Hang in there ... use every situation to teach your daughter how to be a responsible, polite person.  She will succeed as an adult if you do!

Answer 12

mm, difficult situation as i have been in this one too.  as my husband told me once sometimes it is not worth saying anything to some mothers as it goes through one ear out the other and u are the one looking like a fool.  i think if kids are misbehaving like throwing bottles around do say something i have done before but it is frustrating when kids are not being taught and supervised properly  

they only advice i can give is to educated your daughter on the right/appropriate behaviour displayed in public and when playing with other kids, i know may not help but that is the only solution i have at the moment..

Good Luck

Answer 13

People need to respect other people in public places

Answer 14

It sounds like you handled the situation with dignity although sometimes people can really make you want to snap and do something not dignified! I also HATE having to discipline other peoples kids. I find nothing more annoying!