Pleas rate my poem its my first?

Question

i hope u like i am not used to writing poems this is my first poem umm i just wrote it i was not thinking of someone or pain or anything i just wrote it :d

as the sun rises are eyes finaly meet

my hart stops pumping from the happieness with in me , altho the pain and hurt cant go down ,but as i look with in me i sea you i sea hope i sea faith i sea love ,i look past the pain and hurt, that i have been throw altho it was hard but when i looket in ur eyes i was fulled and driend with love and hope and as i speac i know that u are mine and i am yours , until are eyes meat aging il be waiting , il waiting for you the end i know some words are not right but try to read it pleas

Answer 1

it's rubbish

i could say it means something but i'ld be lieing coz apparently it doesnt mean anything to you

you "just wrote it" so it doesnt make any sense to me

Answer 2

It sounds more like a little hurt/love letter than a poem. But it's very expressive anyway.

Answer 3

it 's ok, some words could be touched up for readers to decipher better, practice format and have fun,☺

___________

listening to lights ~drive my soul,

http://www.myspace.com/lightsnoise

..

Answer 4

I like it, and your really good for a first time poet. Some of the grammar confuses me though because I'm not sure if you purposely misspelled something, or did it accidentally

Answer 5

First correct grammar and punctuation, then we will talk.

Answer 6

TERRIBLE RUBBISH WEIRD MAKES NO SENSE!!!!

KEEP WORKING RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE A POET FOR SURE