Please, Tell Me My Parents Are Wrong?

Question

My brother and I both live at home and I have been attending college locally to save money and working part time at the same job for 3 yrs right out of high school, I am 21. My 22 yr old brother has been taking a vacation from school since about the year he left high school and has been out of a job for months. He is an alcoholic and sleeps in till 2 in the afternoon. Since I work hard for a not very high paying job, I am very frugal with my money. I bought some shampoo and conditioner and tried to make it last, since the prices of everything these days is outrageous. My mom usually buys all his neccesities and she brings home loads of shampoo, since thats all he uses. Well, I notice my shampoo has been finishing faster than I was using it and the conditioner was still pretty full. I asked him, and he said, "Yah, I use whatevers in there", after knowing that I request him to please not use it since my mom has been buying his own shampoo for years. Well, I reminded him again yesterday, and sure enough he used again this morning and his excuse was that he couldn't see anything in the shower, and my parents believed this, which they know he lies all the time and will never admit he is an alcholic for example...anyhow. My parents heard me ask him why he didnt respect my stuff and they told me I should conform to him and start carring my stuff back and forth like if I live in a dorm. I told him hes not some random guy that doesnt know me, and this is very inconvient, so why couldnt my parents side with me and ask him to respect my stuff and use his own things that my mom buys for him. Am I not seeing this the right way, should I just carry my stuff in a basket each time I use the restroom? Please, dont be rude, if you dont have an honest, nice opinion, than just skip this question....thanks

Answer 1

If you don't want your brother using your shampoo take it out of the bathroom and put it away when you are not using it.  The bathroom is  a part of your PARENT'S home not your personal domain.  If you leave something in there anyone in the house has the right to use it.  It's time that you grew up and became responsible for your things.  

I also noticed that you have had this tantrum before and didn't like the answers given too you...my answer here is the same as my answer was before.  

Answer 2

You have two choices, take your stuff back to your room or get used to supporting your brother like your parents do.

I would get a basket for my stuff and take it back and forth with me.

As soon as you graduate and get a good job get out of there and let them deal with him while you build a life for yourself.

There is nothing you can do for your brother - he has to do that himself.

Answer 3

Just use his shampoo if its like not for guys when you run out and if you don't want to do this then i do suggest bringing it out before he goes to take a shower. i have the same problem. my brother loves to use my shampoo because it smells really good and when i run out i have to use his but his is that Nivea for men shampoo and it smells like guy and i don't like using it so i have to  take my shampoo out. he doesn't use conditioner either.

Answer 4

actually you should not have to carry your stuff back and forth. It sounds like he does it to annoy you. I understand how you feel. You work hard for your money and he does nothing. Eventually he will need you for something and when he does just remind him that the favor he needs from you he got out of those bottles that were too important for him to leave alone when they didnt belong to him.

Answer 5

That's unfair and inconvenient for you to have to be carrying your things back and forth to the restroom, but that may be the thing to do to keep your brother from using them. Your parents are hurting him by allowing him to sit around the house doing nothing, sleeping all day, not going to school, working, and abusing alcohol. They need to start showing him some tough love, at his age that's just ridiculous. They need to give him an ultimatum to straighten out himself or give him the boot.It's totally unfair to you as you're the more responsible one who is going to school and working to provide for yourself. When you talk to them, make them aware of all that you do while your brother does nothing and let them know that they're playing favoritism, and that's not right. I can't imagine having to deal with that and for that I sympathize with you. Be a trooper and hang in there girl, I hope it gets better.

Answer 6

Wow I think it more then shampoo, Sounds like your brother is taking advantage of a good situation. carry your shampoo in a travling bag. Talk to mom and dad tell them they are not helping him to grow up. You sound like someone with their head on straight give your parents time they will see it. If that doesn't work put vinegar in his shampoo that will wake him up, or turn him into a redhead.

Answer 7

You're not wrong for being angry about your brother's lack of respect for you. You should be proud of yourself for not falling for his c**p like your parents have. My suggestion (which is not going to be the easiest..:) Get out. Find somewhere else to be. Grab a friend from college and rent an apartment together.

What bothers me is not only is your brother walking all over you, but your parents aren't giving you the respect you deserve! It's an all around negative situation. The fact that you've been able to take it AND go to school AND hold a job just shows how strong you really are! I wish you luck and hope you find a more positive, supportive environment!

Answer 8

Yes, you should carry your items back and forth.  And yes, this is an inconvenience.  But, you are also an adult living at home still and if they want to pamper your brother there is nothing you will be able to do to change that.  This is their home; the home they pay the bills for.  I didn't notice you commenting on rent.  If you are not paying rent then you should just be grateful for the roof over your head and the food in your stomach, as most people your age are forced to tough it on their own to get a taste of The Real World.  (And not the MTV type).  

It's gonna suck, but think of the alternative.  Moving out and really being broke.  If you can't do that then buy yourself a $.99 plastic bucket and stock your shower stuff in there.  Then move it back and forth when finished.  Not hard at all.

Answer 9

just  tell  them

Answer 10

Well, personally, I think you should probably have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents about this matter and tell them just what's going on. As for your bro, try explaining to him why he should leave your stuff alone. Or you could try putting your initials on your shampoo bottles and tell him "This is mine, now you have no excuse for using it.", or maybe you should tell him that if he uses your shampoo even after it has your initials on it, he has to pay for the amount he uses or buy you some more.  

Answer 11

your parents are wrong on many levels.

but, if i were you, i'd bring my things back and forth from my room.

Answer 12

You have every right to reject your brother's indolence, and take whatever measures are necessary to keep him from leeching off of you.  Tell that to your parents.  As soon as you can get into your own separate household, do so.

Answer 13

No I don't think you should have to do this. But your parents are already blind to his problem and are obviously going to keep enabling his alcohol problem. I would for now move your stuff back and forth because it sounds like they will never make him accountable. Could you live with a friend or in dorms? I would start looking for some where else to live because it is only going to get worse the longer they enable him.

Answer 14

you are right .

he is the oldest ,for some reason parents allow the oldest to do as they please. not always though sometimes it is the youngest.