Please Fix my Sentances?

Question

Ok so my teacher underlined these sentances that he thought were odd, can u please fix them for me?

He said this is a fragment sentance, also this sentance is talking about my house after a hurricane hit it.

My home is in pieces right in front of my eyes, wood splintering my fingers as i try and make whats left of this memorable home.

I have no clue why this is wrong:

Sometimes I dream at night of living a life were I can make good money to have a nice and comfortable home, warm and delicious food on the table, and happiness on everyone's faces.

Finally this sentence im writing a fake goodbye letter so im telling my friend chanel that america is better than russia so this is my topic thingy.

America is much better than here Chanel, you really need to understand that.

This has nothing to do with me its for us history about immigration, i did not loose my home nor and i from russia LMAO ok just wnted to get that clear. Thanks :p

Answer 1

I look with disbelief, at the pile of rubble that now lays where my home once proudly stood. Splinters stab my hands, as I try and salvage something of value from the mayhem left behind by the savage kiss of hurricane winds, upon my once memorable home.

In my dreams, I envision a comfortable life, devoid of tremendous struggles to survive. A life where I earn a living wage, that will provide not only food, clothing and shelter but some of the finer things life has to offer.

Chanel, I need you to understand that America, offers a chance for a better life, a better life than any found here.

Answer 2

"My home is in pieces right in front of my eyes, wood splintering my fingers as i try and make whats left of this memorable home."

I think that you forgot to write what you're doing we the house...:"as i try and make...(something missing) whats left out of this memorable home"

did you mean to write:

"as i try and gather the pieces of whats left out of this memorable home?