Please Give me advice(I Cheated)?

Question

i cheated on my Boyfriend (at that time) and i kept it from him for a year and he found out,which when he found out we was engaged for 6 mo, well he got mad and up set but we stayed with one another, well about 2 mo, after he found out we broke up he told me he couldn't get it out of his head! (Which i understand) but we didnt talk for a bout a week and i called him to see when i could go pick up my stuff and he was tellin me he thought about me everyday, and i said well your the one that said u didnt love me& he said i didnt say that? which he didnt but i thought he didnt,well he hung up on me cause he started talking about me cheating, and i called back and he wouldnt answer or call me back, IM HEART BROKEN!! I KNOW I HURT HIM WORSE WHICH I FEEL SO BAD FOR I REALLY DO!! But my Qus, is do u think he'll ever come back? have you ever been in his spot and came back? or do u think he's done with me? and how long should i give him to come back? (Please dont be mean i know i messed up big time but i feeel soooooo bad about it)!Thanks for all your help!

Answer 1

Well, I am not going to be mean, but I am not  going to spare your feelings either.

My ex-wife had an affair, and I broke it off when I found out.  I have not laid eyes on her since, and I consider this to be quite reasonable.  I also did nothing to help her trhough the divorce or pay anything that she owed.

Like your bf, I wanted distance.  I did not want her ringing up looking for absolution when I was in no position to give it.  I never felt even slightly tempted to go back, even though there was pressure to do so: and all that pressure seemed to be focused on making her look good and feel better.  You do seem to be looking to him to make yourself feel better about what you did.

Whether or not he comes back is actually not the question at this point. You need to work out why you cheated, and be truly honest in this area.

I hope it does work out, but I also hope that you consider very carefully what you did and realise that he has every right to decide how he responds.

Answer 2

You are in no position to be arguing with him, you should just take whatever he has to say to you... you're not helping either of you if you are going to make the separation his fault (i.e. 'well you're the one that said you didn't love me'). You're the reason why your relationship fell apart. If you don't realise that, then you don't have a chance of getting him back.

As it is, it doesn't look like you're going to get him back, because the only time you managed to talk to him was when you initiated contact -- then he refused to pick up your call. It sounds like a pretty clear message to me. I swear, he will never forget what you did. You're a disgusting person, and need to learn some self-control. Cheaters are scum. Perhaps the best thing you can do is leave him alone -- if you love him, why subject him to yourself? Go get some counselling, take a long hard look at yourself, and make sure you fix whatever messed up wiring in your brain led you to do something so foul. You have probably broken and absolutely shattered him -- he will never look at you the same again. And quite rightly so. At least he knows the sick kind of person he was with, and knows to keep the h**l away.

Answer 3

Send him flowers and a card telling him you are really sorry and your heart belongs to him. Let him know you are waiting for him and that you will be the one to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. When you get a chance, ask him to put it in the past and never to look back and bring it up again. Good luck!

Answer 4

he may come back if he can see change. u will need to go to him, tell him that u do understand that what u did hurt him terribly,and it was wrong of u. showing remorse and being sorry may unharden his heart.just tell him how much u love him, and that u made a mistake and then step back and wait patiently, because forgiveness won't come overnight, takes time once a person has been hurt to get over being heartbroken.

Answer 5

you make your bed, you lay in it.

show him respect and give him space, neither of you will feel good if you  did get back together, I know you need closure.. but that wont happen till he's ready to forgive you.

move on and try to be a better you!  

take care,