Please HELP! I need advice on how to deal with my fitness instructor!?

Question

Okay, so I'm starting soccer in September, and I've been doing this other sport for about 6 years,and I think that's pretty good, considering that's more than half of my life, and I decided to quit, because my heart really isn't in that sport anymore. Well, the problem is, my instructor is kind of intimidating me. He's trying to change my mind, and make me stay. He keeps bullying me, and saying that I'm just wasting my youth and being dumb. And, he's lowered himself to the point of criticizing and practically mocking me every few minutes. I'm kind of tired of him pushing me around, mocking me, and putting me down. Please, can someone tell me what to do about this? I can't cuss at him, or disrespect him too badly, because he's my instructor, and he's a higher rank than me in the sport that I do, so he has a right to punish me... Thanks for your answers, everyone!

Answer 1

Get him on tape. Go from there.  Once you have that you have the upper hand, totally.

Answer 2

He knows you want to quit so just stop going.  It's America.  Don't ever let anyone talk to you like that either...that rank stuff is a made up rule of the sport, not a law, and he has no right to "punish" you.  In fact, I wouldn't go again and if you have caller ID I wouldn't answer the phone if he calls either.  I'll tell you, if you were my child I'd give him a piece of my mind and I'd pull you right out of there...I wouldn't care what his pretend world thinks of who outranks who.

Answer 3

Have you talked with any other adults about this?  It sounds like you should.  Coaches should encourage you, but also do what needs to be done to get you to dig deep and challenge how you deal with adversity.  Personally from what you have said, I think he has crossed the line and his measures are not challenging you to be more than you are now, but instead helping you to decide that this sort of punishment is just not worth your time.

Whatever you decide, learn from your experiences; even if it is that you should not let anyone disrespect you or treat you so poorly and that walking away is a statement that you honor yourself.  You always have choices.  Others may influence your decision process, but ultimately, choosing is your decision and that is what it means to be FREE

Answer 4

Okay, first of all if you are in school, you need to talk to your parents about the situation. Tell them that's he's making you miserable and intimidated. Usually, your parents would take it from there.

But, if not, you need to cut your losses then and there and quit the team/sport. Your heart isn't in it so there's no point in playing anymore, especially if the instructor is trying to force you to change your mind and intimidating you.

Mississippi150

Answer 5

Isn't someone paying for these lessons?  You have a right to quit, and it sounds like that is the best option right now.  His treatment of you is just another reason to quit the sport, and putting up with him is just wasting your money.

Answer 6

Tell him your mind is made up your heart is no longer in it and another reason for your being glad to leave is his demeaning and critical attitude toward you.. that you are your own person and you have a free will, that you live in a free country and have free choices and your choice is to quit and to please accept that as inevitable and irreversible.. and not to worry about your future that you feel confident you can take care of that very well yourself. xc

Answer 7

Okay so if you're quitting like u say u are, I imagine you will no longer see him. Problem solved.

Answer 8

**** no man you have the right to make up your own mind, sounds like your still in school so talk to your parents or the principle about how he's making you feel.  it's your road man you walk any which way you want to.