Please HELP! urgent!!! Pregnant at 17 and my ex wants me to have abortion!!?

Question

I am 17 and he's 19!. I told him i am pregnant around a week ago an we agrred to meet up to chat about what we are going to do. However on both occasions he has made an excuse as to why he cant meet me!. He rang me earlier and was really unpleasant he said 'wel your too young and im not ready'. I really dont know what to say to him because he is talking as though there isnt other options. Anyone have any suggestions as to what i can text him??. as this is a really huge thing and cant be discussed in five minutes over the phone!. He just doesnt seem to want to act up to his responsibilities, i know hes scared but i just feel its really unfair on me!!!. Help please...

Answer 1

A fetus is not human until 6 weeks so yes you can get the abortion.

He is right you and him are both too young.

Besides you have your lives ahead of you there is plenty of time to have children so abort the 1 week old fetus it's not human yet.

Answer 2

have the abortion , u dont want to trash your body at 17

Answer 3

Well you werent to young to have s*x, and he certainly felt he was ready for s*x.. so there ya go.

He cant tell you to get an abortion.  That's YOUR decision.  Its your body.

Face it, he's not going to take up his end of the responsability.  All you can do is plan to raise this child on your own, and take him to court for child support.

Reality may set in later as it gets closer to the due date.. but dont count on it.  Very few young men want to take responsability for babies.

Answer 4

You should text him " Let's do it again"!!

Answer 5

from what you say unfortunately i think you may have to accept that whatever decision you decide to take you will be taking it on your own. get some advice, have you spoken to your parents, friends, teachers etc...

Good luck what ever your decision

Answer 6

if he was ready to get in your pant he should have been ready to raise a child. if he doesn't take responsibility take him to court

Answer 7

First of all, if you want an abortion it's your choice. Don't let someone else decide because it's your body. Second, if you have the baby there is always adoption. Third, obviously he isn't going to be a caring father. He's not only your ex, but he doesn't want a child by telling you to get an abortion. If you want the baby, just tell him he wouldn't have to worry about it. Keep him away, it's for the best.

Answer 8

talk to your parents.  they have your best intrest at heart and wil help you make the right descion

Answer 9

You are only 17 years old - that is still very young to have a baby! - never the less that doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother! you need to sit down either with a midwife/doctor or your mum/sister/auntor another close relative or friend and talk to them about how you feel and then make a decision about your baby's and your future

Answer 10

First off, seeing as he is more of a five year old than 19, text him and say that if he does not agree to meet up with u and chat, that you will discuss it with his parents instead....(If he isn't close with his parents, try a older person that he respects) This should kick him into gear...

Speaking as a girl with experience, the best way to get through to him is to relate the baby to him, make him see that its not just a foetus, its his child...

At the end of the day, if he decides he wants nothing to do with the baby, then you'll have to get rid of his sorry ***! This is about your child, there are so many options out there for you and support if you have to do this without him...

Remember you are never alone..help is out there for you..

Good luck huni x x x  

Answer 11

He's not ready? oh please He should have thought about that when he was F... you. honey don't have an abortion once its born give it up for adoption if you have to but better yet keep it and raise it, you guys need to talk but just really think about what your doing (PLEASE DON'T GET AN ABORTION!)  

Answer 12

Hunni its your desisions if he's too immuture then fine his loss!

you Dont need him.

yes it is unfair on you,but lifes unfair somtimes.

its 100%up to you what you do,i would however say that the longer you take too desiced the more and more your baby is a real baby and its not fair on him/her to let them grow so much then get rid.

xxxxxxxx

Answer 13

Only have an abortion if YOU want to, it's YOUR choice, NOT HIS.

Answer 14

I feel that even though you are young, it is partially your fault. Half his, and half yours. I am not even going to call your baby a mistake, but I feel since you created him/her you need to do what you have to do, step up and become a mother. You are young, however I'm sure with the love and support from others you can do this. good luck.

Answer 15

it's not his choice, it's yours. it's your body that will be growing a human life, not his. also, you can make him pay child support, even if he doesn't want to be part of his child's life. just tell him that you didn't get pregnant on your own, he has to take some responsibility.

Answer 16

Your man has clearly told u what to do, so do it!

Answer 17

im seventeen too. I know a girl who just had a baby- she's 15; and i found out about another girl who just got pregnant, she's 17 like us. Don't have an abortion; thats your little baby- it's going to be like you. Give your bf some time. Try to talk to yoiur parents, i know it will be hard. But just do this-

1. sit them down

2- just say it, and say it fast

(saying it will be the hardest part but after that its all downhill)

and when you think about it, its jsut saying words. i hope that helps.

3. i can garantee your mama will support you cause you're her baby

i know for a fact that if you decide to lose your baby you'll regret it. I work with a girl who had an abortion and to this day she hates herself for it.

If anything, if you're really not ready for a child adoption. YOur baby can make a family really happy.

I'll pray for you tonight; God will help you out, i know it.

Answer 18

it's typical for a guy in his age to act like that. he is surely scared and panicking at the moment, just let it be. DON'T have an abortion, you are young and you risk not to have any babies in the future, not worth risking!

be happy that you are expecting a baby, you'll see that after a birth of your baby your ex will begin to feel some responsibilities, after all the baby is his as well.  

Answer 19

Forget about him. Did you hear? Forget about him. It isn't going to be easy but you have to think about you and YOUR baby. YOUR precious baby is already alive and it is too late to say you or he is too young. It is done. You can not listen to this boy, he cannot be trusted becuase he would be totally different towards you know. You need support and help, not an abortion. It will haunt you forever. Your baby needs you to protect him or her from the likes of this boy and not to be put at risk. Protect him/her and love him/her. \you can cope, you can get support. Try CARE for life pregnancy help centres. They will give you as much support as you need, to listen, practical help etc. God bless and best wishes.

Answer 20

At this point, you need to be talking to a lawyer, not your ex.  Your attorney will be happy to explain his responsibilities to him and won't be moved by how "scared" he is.  You owe it to yourself and your baby to be sure of a secure future for yourselves, or at least to know what all your options are, not just the ones your ex wants you to consider.

Answer 21

Hun , your ex is being a jerk.

Let him know that.

First off, decide what you wanna do.   No matter what the answer is, he has to face up to his responsibilities. Even if he doesn't become a father (if you choose abortion), he should still be there supporting you through the ordeal. Maybe he isn't ready, but he has to face up to the consequences . If he is to become a father, then he needs to take responsility, and start acting his age. Just tell him exacly how you feel.

And just for the record, if you have the kid and he still isn't willing to co-oporate, ensure you get cchild- support off him ((:  

Answer 22

i love the way you said you cant discuss it over the phone.

i think that if he was ready to make "love" to u he should be ready to have a kid.

if you want you baby(which i think you should there the best thing you can have its like a miracle of God.)

really you should tell him if he dosent want it you are not going to abort it and that yo will put child support on him =) it will scare him a little bit.

Answer 23

Just tell him to sign away his parental rights when it's born so he won't have to be bothered with it. Unfair on YOU?? Since when do YOU get to make all the decisions?? If you didn't want to deal with this you shouldn't have been such a little    sl ut.

Answer 24

It is your body and life you will have to decide what you want to do. Have you talked to your parents about it. He may not be ready, if you decide that you wish to keep the baby. Then he better be ready to pay child support to the child until it is 18. You have 3 options. Talk with different people your parents, a school nurse and person that you respect their opinion. I wouldn't try to deal with him now, he wants out. It is time you thought of yourself, the baby and your life.

Answer 25

Welcome to the world of 19 year old boys!!  My ex was 19 when i fell pregnant with our son and his reaction was pretty much the same.  He was really unpleasant, said he wasnt ready, wanted me to get an abortion and even managed to get his dad to say some pretty horrific stuff to my parents and to people we knew (about a paternity test . . .i had been with him for 6 months and was completely faithful and he knew that 100% so it was just out of pure spite).  Unfortunately he is very unlikely to grow up and face his responsibilities so the best thing for you to do is to cut him out of the decision making process.  

This baby is ultimately yours and it is being carried in YOUR body, not his.  The decision of what to do is therefore up to you and you dont need to discuss it with him.  I know you are trying to do the right thing by him but he wont do the same for you so just leave him be and do what you can on your own.

I went ahead and had my son with support from my family and he did come round and is now a good dad and has him twice a week.  I have never regretted my decision at all and dont think i ever will!  

This boy will continue to be unfair on you because he does not want to step up to his responsibilities and nothing you can text him will make him do that.  You are old enough to make your own decisions so i suggest that you decide what you want to do and go and talk to your parents. This guy isnt worth bothering about.  If he comes round and decides to be a proper dad then great, but if not then dont waste too much energy worrying about it.  Look after yourself!!  Good luck!!

Answer 26

DO NOT GET ABORTION YOU WOULD BE KILLING A BABY THINK OF IT THIS WAY A NEWBORN BABY AND THEN YOU KILL IT KILLING INNOCENT CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 27

It happens all the time when young fathers have to except the responsibility of a child coming along. Although i don't think you have to agree because he wants an abortion after all it was your mistakes. You can't kill an innocent child when you knew the chances of getting pregnant while on contraception where 50/50. Live up to you responsibilities both of you.

Answer 28

Best advice is to use protection, but I guess your gonna hear loads of that, so I won't lecture you.

tell him that if he doesn't come and discuss this with you, then you want nothing more to do with him, ever, for he is immature and worthless. He can create a life, yet has no idea what it is all about (life)

A baby is the last thing you want at your age.

Why not offer it to someone who will love it and take care of it, instead of aborting it.

Answer 29

its your decision as you are the one whos life will be changed forever and if you do keep it then it will be his choice to be a part of the babys life you do what is right for you

Answer 30

dont you dare kill that baby inside you, tell your sick ex to jump in the sea, sad man

Answer 31

Sure he is unfair to you.He is responsible for what he have done.