Please Help!! My teenagers are abusive to me.

Question

Ok, so I have these two boys, big ole boys...that use me for every penny I have, they have never ever lifted a finger on a consistent basis to help me. Im single now after being married to their abusive father for 18 years. Since the divorce 2 years ago, I feel as if Im still living with the abuse from my husband, my boys constantly tell me to shut the F... Up!!! They beg me for money every day, so i give it to them, or they go tell their father I dont give them money, and he then starts c**p with me and threatens that im not spendin the child support on them and hes gonna turn me in. I love my boys so much, I have always given them everything they ever needed or wanted. I loved them with my whole heart. and its just killing me emotionally and physically that they can call me names and disrespect me the way they do. People cannot believe that my kids talk to me that way. I have tried to be mean and punish them, but they just laugh at me. They are huge and im only 5'2 110lbs. my 17 yr old weighs 200 lbs. and both are 6ft. (how that happened, i dont know). I dont know what else to do. I dont want them to live with their father, as Im afraid they will learn even more bad habits from him. I also have a younger son who Im so afraid will pick up their habits. Please help me...I feel as if im going to have a heartattack!!!

Answer 1

honestly i would just have to say pick up the belt grab them kids n whup some ***.

Answer 2

sent them to military school or boot camp

thatll teach em

Answer 3

send them away to a military school or to a camp. but first you should talk to them and see why they act like this towards you. my brother does this to my mom. my sister and I have to protect her and the reason he acts something like that is because he resents my mother and misses the good days. your sons probably act like that because of the abuse they experienced.  

Answer 4

there turning into there father maybe when he was there he was afraid to say anything.talk to them ask why they act that way

Answer 5

WOW!  You need to take control. Get outside help, Big brothers, boys club call you local police department and ask about counselors for troubled teen. This is learned behavior, and apparently they picked up from their dad.  Truly said. But Mom, now it's up to you to teach them. You are the head of YOUR household. You can love them with all your heart but don't set them up for becoming abusive men. They need to learn to respect all women, especially you. Do what it takes and stop being the victim. By the way, you need to the same with the ex. If your done with him than be done. He does not run you anymore.  

Answer 6

I know you don't want to but if those were my kids I would wait until they left one day and then I would change the locks and when they came home I would tell them to go stay with friends until they can learn how to treat their mother.  I wouldn't give them a dime to help them either.  I wouldn't even give them a clean pair of underwear.  There is no excuse for them to abuse you that way.  You need to show your youngest son that you won't stand for that kind of behavior.  And as for your ex threatening you...I would tell him to take me to court and just try to prove that you are a bad mom!  How on earth can he?  I am sure there are other people who will vouch for you that your boys treat you like dirt.  Don't let these kids walk all over you.

Answer 7

Just the next time they do this, just stick up for yourself. Say like: 'I am tired of taking all this sh*t from you two. I am your mother. you should treat me with respect and gratitude that I brought you into this world and give you all i give.' While do this be yelling and pointing right into their faces. They will get the picture. and treat you with full respect and ask you for money less. Hope this helps. and dont be afraid that they will tell their father because they are almost 18 and need to cut this oout because they will get beaten up and locked up in the real world if they keep this up. Good luck

em<3

Answer 8

okay--so, with your younger son, don't let him get away with ANYTHING. he might be the one kind one, too...remember that.

and with your other two boys...you have a few options.

*you can kick them out.

*you can dissapear for awhile. sometimes that's all it takes to see how much that one person does for you. or they'll come back REALLY angry.

*they can live with their father. 2 years won't make much difference with guys who have acted like this beforehand, which i assume.

*handcuff them, when they act like idiots.

i know this might not help too much, my brother is abusive, and the only thing i tend to find is if i'm out of sight, i'm out of mind...and eventually he leaves...or i fight back and one of us ends up in the ER or with the police.

Answer 9

Call the police.  Plain and simple.  Tell the police officer that shows up that your ex-husband is abusive and might bail them out of jail, so ask that maybe they can't have bail for a few days and let them sit in jail.

How old are they?  If they are not adults yet, they might be able to be placed in a juvenile detention center for harassing you.

Answer 10

Well you should for starters go to family counciling... that would be for the bet i think! I feel so sorry for you but stay strong girl!!

If it gets worse, appeal to the court and tell then that you don't feel you can be with them and then have the father have partial custody...

I'm sure you're a great mother! Your boys are maybe in a phase...??

Answer 11

I probably know why they're like this, obviously because of your abusive husband.. But you know what? YOU ARE THE MOM. These boys have no right to treat you that way! You gave birth to them, they need to clean up their acts girl..

The best thing you could do now is punish them, because they deserve to be punished for swearing at you and treating you the way they are.. The punishment will also show them that YOU'RE the boss no matter what, NOT THEM. So cut away all their necessities if they have any (mobile phone contract that you pay, video games etc. etc.).  

Answer 12

Send them to teen challenge.

It changed my friends life, he is really happy he did it now, looking back on it. Of course they wouldnt probaly agree on going but my friends parents told him they were going on vacation to orlando but instead took him there....

http://teenchallengeusa.com/help.php

Much love,

Emilie <3

Answer 13

Send them to lakeside!