Please I need it badly?

Question

Now I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so.

Do you have a piece of gum?

Answer 1

LMFAO!!! that was a good joke had me thinkin WTF man!!

Answer 2

THIS USEFUL TOOL, COMMONLY FOUND IN THE RANGE OF 8 INCHES LONG. THE FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES. IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION. IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS. ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS. WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, STICKY WHITE SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND SOME OF FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT. AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMENATING, IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY FOR YET ANOTHER BIT OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.

WHAT AM I???????

Answer 3

:-)

Answer 4

hahahaha, no.

wow.

Answer 5

No, why don't you buy some at your local supermarket?

Answer 6

what????????????????????

Answer 7

do you like wrinkles. I have so many you can have one every day for ever.  

Answer 8

Ha-Ha:)

Answer 9

y

Answer 10

lmao that was so funny!

answer my riddle please!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 11

Uh......idk what this is supposed to be but if its a poem or song good job!

Answer 12

     I like it!!   Well done and well written!   Good for you.

Good luck

Mike B

Answer 13

yes I do...

Answer 14

ive herd that before lol

Answer 15

Very nice, have a star.

Answer 16

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEz All that for a piece of Gum!?!  haha xox

Answer 17

hahahahhahahhahahah good 1. i don't chew gums :( i have too many dentists in my family, they say it's bad for your teeth for real  

Answer 18

lol, really funny =]  

Answer 19

lmao!!!

Answer 20

??Huh??

Answer 21

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV...

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGoo...

One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...