Please Rate My Yugioh deck And tell me What it needs?

Question

It is a Beet Down Deck And it is a spellcarster deack

Main Deck

Monsters

1 Cybernetic Magician

1 Magician Valkyria

1 Dark Magician Girl

3 Dark Magician

2 Skilled Dark Magicians

2 Old Vindictive Magicians

2 Apprentice Magicians

3 Gemini Elfs

1 Morphing Jar

1 Marshmallon

1 Sorcerer of Dark Magic

Spell Cards

2 Lightning Vortex

2 Nobleman of Crossout

1 Swords of Revealing Light

1 Fissure

1 Sage's Stone

2 Dark Magic Curtain

2 Magical Dimension

1 Mystical Space Typhoon

1 Heavy Storm

1 Monster Reborn

1 Premature Burial

1 Soul Exchange

Trap Cards

3 Sakuretsu Armour

1 Bottomless Trap Hole

1 Waboku

1 Magic Cylinder

1 Torrential Tribute

1 Dust Tornado

Side Deck

1 Divine Knight Ishzark

1 D.D. Warrior Lady

1 Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer

1 Injection Fairy Lily

1 Dark Magician Knight

1 Brain Control

1 Giant Trunade

1 Knight's Title

1 Dark Magic Attack

1 Black Pendant

1 Soul Release

1 Legacy of Yata-Garasu

1 Wall of Revealing Light

2 Karma Cut

Answer 1

8/10, add another Magician Valkyria and it will be okay.

Answer 2

ok looks good. i rate 8 /10. rite away i would tell u to look in to getting a dark magican of chaos but people and websites r saying its getting banned in sept. 2008, which is g*y. i say take out the dust tornado. i also think magic cylinderis no good because u can negate one atk and deal some direct damage which is awesome but if ur stuck all u r doing is negating that strong monsters atk once and u have to deal with it again next turn. so put in cards (trap cards) that destroy monsters rather then card that negate their attack, in the end destroying their strong monster is way better so on ur turn u can do some real damage...also brain control is better then soul exchange because u can use it just to take their monster for a turn to finish them off or u can use it take their monster and sac it for ur monster. soul exchange is good but not that good cause u have to skip ur battle phase and u just give them some time to create a plan.

hope i could help.