Please answer, my parents want to split up, i don't know what to do?

Question

my mom and dad have been fighting on and off for weeks now, and tonight he really did it, he told my mom that she was just like one of the kids in the house and that she has a curfew and a bedtime, he told her that her curfew was 9:30 and that if she was out any later he would take her car keys away. my mom called my sister crying and she told her that he just makes her feel like sh*t and that she cant do this anymore and that she's going to leave him. I'm only fourteen and i don't know what i would do. i used to be a real big drug addict and i am afraid that if she leaves i will go back and do the same things, she got me clean, my dad told me he didn't care and that he wanted me to die he told me that it would teach me a lesson. i don't know what to do. i need help. please.

Answer 1

i think its better for your mom if they split up.because in this relationship she is hurting. but you have a choice in not going back to drugs.

try calling the kids help phone.i know its lame but it really helps.

good luck

Answer 2

stay with your mom

leave your dad to rot in his own pool of misery. he sounds like he has the possibility of becoming abusive.

Answer 3

Stay with your mum.  Yourr dad doesn't sound like a safe person to live with right now.  Talk to your mum about it and tell her that if she's leaving, you want to come too.  Don't stay with your dad.  

~ Love && peace ~

-stephanie.x

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear that. But please, don't go back to doing drugs. I personally think their is no point in doing drugs. No health benefits, waste of time and money, and you could go to jail for it. Your an innocent person. But your dad was doing that probably because he is angry. You also have no control over it. They love you. From my point of view it would be good if they divorced. I know it will hurt. But would you want your parents to fight all day? It will better for them. Also, if you work hard and go to college you will be proud of yourself and you parents to. What feels better acing a test because you cheated or aceing a test because you worked so hard on it? The harder you work the prouder you will be.  You should try looking at the Bible and going to a Christian church. God loves you and He can do great things! I'll pray for you :).

Answer 5

Hey Liz,

I'm also 14 and i know how terrible that feels like, my parent's got separated for some time and i really got to know what it felt like, However,know that the divorce whatever the reason for it is a dispute between them - not with you! you may also likewise find it helpful to confide in someone, instead of isolating yourself, that's what i used to do-  . after a ( split up, divorce ) things may never be the same now this does not mean that your life cannot be a fruitful and happy one,instead of allowing yourself to become immobilized by grief, hurt or anger, just get on with your life! get involved in your schoolwork. Purse goals, hobbies, Read the bible see god as a friend.. When you truly see god as the most reliable friend ever, and pray, and TRUST that he will help you -more than mom, or dad or bf - he may not do what one pleases , but he will sooth the pain and help you get over it, or chances are he will help your parents! you see, you never know what a brilliant life god has planned for you! so do what i did, if your parents or your family don't set a good example for you, Why dont YOU be the one to set them the example! just keep that in mind, trust blindly in god, talk to him everyday..and you will see... things will work out.. : o) k?  I found this article on the web for your mom, the 2nd Link is an index about Different topics ( VERY INTYERESTING ) that might help you out ; o) Hope the info can help you out just like it helped me and my family!!   - F. D. S

Answer 6

A lot of times kids will do risky things, like drugs, to try to get their parent's attention.  Like, to distract your parents away from fighting with each other.  

It sounds like your parents have a lot of problems.  Don't hurt yourself because of it.  It's not your fault, and there is probably nothing you can do to help the situation.  All you can do it wait it out and see what happens.  And, I agree with everyone else, you should stay with your Mom.  Your Dad was angry when he said those things, and, had he been drinking?  It was a terrible thing for him to say, but you have to let it go.  Not easy, I know.  Don't self-destruct because of them.  You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Answer 7

14 and a recovering drug addict.

drugs are bad, mmkay.

Answer 8

I think that your mom should leave your father and you should just stay with you mother, that way, you can still stay clean.... STAY WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!

Answer 9

you and your mom need to leave pronto (and any other siblings you have)  even if daddy isn't hitting anyone, thats serious verbal abuse.  a husband doesn't get to give a wife a curfew and keep her in line like a kid.  who the f*** does he think he is?  and "hope you die so it'll teach you a lesson?" wow. you both need to go. i hope your mom takes every penny in the divorce. seriously.

also, i know what it's like to feel a little hooked on drugs.  don't listen to the idiots who can't get past "hugs not drugs" and judging you.  it'll take willpower, and probably some serious honesty with your mother of when you're feeling the compulsion. basically do whatever you can to keep your mind off your dad and drugs for awhile (after you and mom get the h**l outta there)

Answer 10

You mom needs to leave no one should be treated like that and you should not either. You should go with your mom..

Dont do drugs Unless you dont care about your self your family or you looks

http://kuyakevin.blogspot.com/2007/12/ku...

http://healthinmotion.files.wordpress.co...

http://current.com/items/88171091_faces_...

Answer 11

Your Dad told you wrong that dying would teach you a lesson. When you are dead you really don't have the opportunity to learn the lesson cause you are dead. So not a good place to be to learn a lesson.

Good insight on your part for the honesty that you may regress. This is a good time to get back into your support group or go find one.

Answer 12

first of all honey there's no reason in the world enough for u to go back to doing drugs again .. killing urself wont solve a thing

second .. sometimes married women keep saying that they're gonna leave their spouse just because they're having a moment of anger and they dont really mean it

third .. if they really are getting a divorce then i suggest that u live with ur mom .. even if u end up living with ur dad it doesnt matter .. YOU and only YOU will take good care of YOU

fourth .. when u r SURE that things are getting REALLY serious like hiring lawyers and stuff like that .. you have to find someone close to ur family who's wise enough to settle things between ur parents

no matter what reason ur dad set a curfew on ur mom .. ur mom should listen to him cuz he's the man after all and when he finds that she's doing what he tells her to do he'll feel pleased and forget about the curfew thing .. but im not living in ur house to know exactly what's going on

what matters the most to me right now is ur health .. dont destroy urself PLZ

Answer 13

its not your fault.  Do your own thing.  Get good grades, go to college and make your parents and yourself proud.

Answer 14

You will survive. You will only do drugs again if you want to, don't blame others. It seems to me that if your parents are that unhappy everyone will be better off if not together. Either way it is their decision.  Talk to your school counselor to help you find ways to cope . Remember you are not to blame yourself at all for their fighting.

Answer 15

Why can't you stay with your mother?  She is going to leave your father, not you.  At this point in her life she has to do what is right for her.

Stop worrying about what is happening to you and start helping her.  She needs all the support she can get at the moment.

Answer 16

Try to be strong and not to waste your life in drugs. I know your 14, but your parents are not good in their relationship. I don't want to be bias whose better. But the only thing you could do, try to think be mature and responsible person. Don't think too negative and be positive for your life. Live and stay happy.

Good luck......

Answer 17

so go with your mom, or better yet, have her file and keep the house since she is the one who will need a stable home for the kids. stay with her, its not a big deal unless she doesn't want you to go, then i would say see if she would give custody of you to one of your friends parents. but she should want you with her, she cared enough to help you clean up, and that means something.

Answer 18

I'm really sorry. This must be a horrible time for you. It sounds like your dad is someone you would not like to live with. Don't listen to what he says. Just take care of your own self. This is your parents' problem. If it does come to divorce then go and live with your mom. That would be the best choice. Good luck.