Please check whether it makes sense or not?

Question

I am going to write this to a big firm and this bit is under my work experience part on my cv. Can you please check if it makes sense and whether there are too much description words, because my english is not very good, thank you

The friendly approachable staffs, the flat hierarchy and the fact that Deloitte is one of the globally reputable professional service firms are all very appealing to me.

Answer 1

friendly approachable staff (not staffs), also  try finding something else instead of 'flat hierarchy', it doesn't sound very good.

Answer 2

Deloitte is one of the globally reputable service firms with approachable staff, flat hierarchy and has attractive standards that caught my attention.

Answer 3

Looks like you have copied it from somewhere. Make sure you know what Hierachy means, not that I would use that word.

Answer 4

The welcoming and approachable staff, flat hierarchy, and the fact that Deloitte is one of the globally reputable professional service firms are all appealing to us.

My suggestion.

Answer 5

Yep makes sense

Answer 6

The staff at Deloitte are always extremely friendly and approachable. Furthermore the flat hierarchical organizational structure and the fact that Deloitte is a globally well respected and reputable professional service company, are some of the appealing factors.

Answer 7

The friendly approachable staffs, the flat hierarchy

staff instead of staff(s)

hierarchy instead of 'flat' hierarchy (not sure what you are trying to say here but it's not very clear!?

Answer 8

Ok, it should be:

The friendly approachable staff, the flat hierarchy and the fact that Deloitte is one of the most globally reputable professional service firms are all very appealing to me.

Answer 9

Its staff not staffs.

Try 'Deloittes' international reputation linked with the flat hierarchy enabling decisions to be made easily, make this position attractive to me'.

Answer 10

Its fine, just change Staffs to Staff .  The plural form of staff is also staff, Mind it.