Please comment of my Poem ?

Question

Last night I came up with a very dramatic piece of prose, but forgot it. So this morning I dug up one of my less dramatic works and have decided to share it with you experts, in hopes of some very useful tips.

I'd like to explain the work first so you "get it". I've found it's easier to comment if you can actually understand what you've read.

Anyway it's about a very nice guy, who is angry because everytime he falls in love he blinks incessantly. He, the nice guy, now trips into Like, to avoid involuntary stuff.

the really nice guy

tripped and fell - but didn't blink

like is what he found

Okay, now you can comment and stuff. Thanks.

Answer 1

I love it! and I'm so happy he didn't blink!

Answer 2

In line two, where you mention the unfortunate fall of the hero, a well placed "smacked his moose-knuckle on the edge of the cabinet door" would go a long way in solidifying this poem.

Answer 3

The tears make me blink...

Answer 4

Scary...people who don't blink are scary.

Answer 5

i like it a lot. it tells a whole story without having to say much. didn't blink once while i read it, either.

Answer 6

Um, I think if you must explain the meaning prior to sharing the actual poem it probably needs a little work. Nice try by a nice guy? Keep working at it.

Answer 7

Wow, that is deep man, it touched my soul!

It almost sounds like something that would be on the cover of a VHS to describe a movie.

Answer 8

NOW THAT"S a full grown poem.......I like...Like

Answer 9

way beyond me  /i couldnt write anything as bad as that

Answer 10

poem is nice

the guy is  nice

glad he found like

i think i go fly a kite.....

Answer 11

Thank you for your piece

It very nice & I enjoyed the explanation but what did he trip & fall into?  Like?

The really nice guy

Tripped & fell to ground

But didn't blink

Like is what he found

Sorry if my suggestion offended you.  No offense meant.

Answer 12

That's just too sad..* runs away crying like Guido..

Answer 13

Just thinking about him makes my eyes water.

I wish I can find Like one day so I can do stuff to it.

Answer 14

Pmsl...........well what can i say...i'm gobsmacked........x