Please comment on my poem?

Question

Another day, another dose,

What does she want to see?

On her list, sights wanted most,

Until her soul, flutters free.

Another autumn, with red leaves,

A chance to smile beneath the sun,

Another picnic beneath the trees,

All these things from Ten till One.

To travel the world, and see the land,

And feel every scent and sight,

To feel beneath her feet, the sand,

But for her time, she must now fight.

Hold my hand, until the end,

And tell me all these things,

There is no gift that I can send,

From this light, filled with wings,

No more sickness, cough or cold,

A gentle voice inside her ear,

Someone there to love and hold,

To take away her bitter fear.

Answer 1

Its a beautiful poem

This has many things

I like the second paragraph

because it talks about Autumn

and how the leaves change colors.

In the same paragraph

there is the picnic

I am sensing this is about love

hold my hand until the end

In order to see the world one

needs to travel get around

Answer 2

line ten makes no sense...

how can you feel a scent?

otherwise its awsome

Answer 3

I think you have the basis for a very good poem you just need a better way to say it

Answer 4

wow, I loved it.  Had great flow.

Answer 5

Very good :) well done.

Answer 6

I like it in general, it has a nice flow and there is a lot of nice imagery. Also, the tone of it is apparent. But, you shouldn't rhyme just to rhyme a few lines are strange to me (8,10,20). But, I'm no poetry expert, just my opinion. :) Nice Work.