Please critique! I know there's alot of those here..?

Question

Burning all the thoughts and forgetting they were ever true.

Distant dreams of care free times.

Longing for those memories happy of times

Now that those days have gone and past.

Days and nights seem hard to bear.

Tragically searching for a reason to be there.

Knowing you know nothing of this burden.

Making it impossible to breathe.

Chocking on the weight of your innocence.

Laughing off the scars of my treason.

Looking back joy seemed like my only oasis in this desserted dream

You gave me life when no one else could hear me scream.

For that I live now with nothing but my haunting shadows.

Even without words, even with my scars, even with my mask and all.

Thanks for giving me your time with another one of my poems!

Answer 1

wow.. i thought it was great. And i agree you can't say someones poetry is bad unless its forced- which this wasn't. :) grreaat job! Keeep enlightening the world with your writing!

Answer 2

Not  bad. Your poem is good to share with the world.Keep on writing may God bless you and reward you with more idea to write.

Answer 3

i dont think anyone can really say that a piece of poetry is bad, unless it sounds forced. i like ur poem coz its just a speil that comes from what ur thinking.

That makes good poetry

XD