Please critique my poem! What do you think about it?

Question

The bats are everywhere,

swarming and squeaking.

They are calling out to me,

begging for an answer.

I don't want them to know I'm here.

They're telling me to fly,

but I don't want to go.

They make me climb,

they want me to earn my wings.

I sit at the top of the building,

their wings beating behind me,

the wind blowing my hair back.

Their squeaks push me onward,

I don't want to go.

I feel them screaming,

feel it down to my bones.

They are laughing,

They are pushing.

My precious bats,

have made me go over the edge.

I feel the wind blowing, pulling

my hair back...

I feel the world go black.

Answer 1

Hm, interesting poem. It's about the pressure to something you don't want to, correct? It's a common topic in poetry, I find. It's very relatable. Keep writing and your style will get stronger. Overall, it's good. I like it.

Answer 2

at first i had no clue what you were talking about, you know with the bats and all, but i continued reading anyways and found myself loving it! this is amazing, great job!

the only thing I would say to do it to read it outloud many times and try and see which phrases sound awkward or where you need to add things/remove things.

also try and increase your vocabulary and describe the scene as well.

but overall, amazing job!

Answer 3

i can almost see the piece of paper u wrote your poem on in the beginning. i feel u wrote it in a very gloomy night.... those bats pulling you are your black thoughts, or they could be those bad ppl we meet everyday and affect us without knowing about it. . .wow Ann, u are gifted with a colorful imagination which you can easily turn into a black-white one... i congratulate u from my v. heart