Please critique?

Question

The Backstabber

Everyone loves a love song

A tortured soul who whines and screams

Trying to recall his dream

Of happy, joyful, bubbly sights

Where no one hates & no one fights

Its disturbing how reckless one can become

Where horses dance on twinkled toes

And men are strong and women glow

Yet nothing ever seems so real

As the pain that you now feel

But everyone loves a love song

Answer 1

pretty good, uh I hope you know that some people will go to any length to earn money so great way of showing your work to some criminal

Answer 2

over all not my style. but it is desent. . the only critique that I have is you go from "where no one hates and no one fights" then go right to Its "disturbing how reckless one can become" it seems to me a little contraditory to the setting your trying to imply. just my interpretation. I may have it wrong

Answer 3

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

THATS WHAT I THINK OF IT...

Answer 4

Nice, and true everyone loves a love song

Answer 5

I like it, send it in to Reader's Digest, it might get you some $$$.

Answer 6

tortured soul- tell me something else, give me an example don't let me figure it out, give me a noun!!!

i refer the word bubbly to things like liquid and witches cauldron , the word is distracting, try changing it but keep the feel.

i see love, hate, you state several subjects, comparative analysis of ??

brokenhearted, being lead on by someone you trusted, living in a fake world.

Finish this into the lyrics to the song it wants to be!!!! :)

Answer 7

Wow very nice!!

Did you wright that?

Answer 8

not bad.

Answer 9

i like it. i rarely like poems that people post.

Answer 10

It's good - it conveys emotion and point well

But for the fifth line, use "and" instead of "&" for grammatical reasons

Answer 11

not bad

I think that you have done well and it flows better reading it a second time.

Answer 12

Good work...

not bad.. keep it up