Please do critique this critique, `A Little Quick'?

Question

I do not claim this poem as original; it is mainly a personal reading of `Allegra,' by Elyslund, and of a morning poem, with apologies for the author. Nothing of value in this poem is my own.

Note: poem is, of course, one syllable; and poetess is two syllables.

A Little Quick

(--For Elyslund)

1. When morning blushes gaudy

On the leopard's body,

Icy! Glassy! As a poem,

Startled is the lilting dome!

2. Bright sun through trees adorning

The leopard of the morning,

Arousing d**k and Sally,

Rides ghostly through our valley.

3. The corsage of our poetess,

Ever-blooming lotus,

Multifoliate and rosy,

Drumming swift her poesy,

4. Noble, fierce descanted:

Too lovely to be mended

Notes forgotten, Sally

Stepping turned the valley

5. Round the reeling stars and d**k

Hand in hand the leopard quick

Thorn from head and feet was torn;

And hollow reed did lilt forlorn.

6. Bright star through trees aborning,

The shepherd gently mourning

Arousing Nick and Ally

Pipes ghostly through our valley.

Answer 1

Yeah, that was alright. You should be proud of youreself.

Answer 2

i didnt like it enough to finish reading it.

Answer 3

Heavy stuff!

Answer 4

I don't see anything to critique as I think it is flawless.  Cadence and rhyme scheme are great and the words flow.

Although I don't always comprehend your poetic words, I found this one much easier and very much enjoyed the melodic sound of it.  Oh, I just realized that this is a critique of one of Elysabeth's poems.  Since I missed that poem, I don't have a critique of this critique either.  However, I just found your data*fied nursery rhymes which are wonderful and I wish I had been available to respond to the post.

Answer 5

no bingo on this one.