Please explain: I am a woman; if I hold doors open for people am I being "chivalrous"?

Question

If not, if I am merely being 'polite'...

then why is it that when a man does it some people refer to this very same behavior as "chivalry"? It makes absolutely no sense.

Answer 1

In my book, yes you are and that's a good thing.  Chivalry is not something reserved for only men, and it shows that you are a polite person who knows how to put others first.  I am certain that many men do it just to try meeting women and looking nice so they might get laid, while some guys are just being polite.  I'm a woman who opens doors for others, men or women.  I am not trying to get anywhere with them.  They are all fellow human beings and I wasn't raised in a cave - I was brought up right (not sexist or rude)....And yes I have seen some men just barge through the door when someone opens it for themselves.  Some people act like their mothers were animals and they grew up in a cave.  I'm glad that you aren't one of them.

Answer 2

Some hardcore feminists believe that it is denoting women as physically inferior.

That's what's wrong with feminism. It doesn't celebrate femininity. It celebrates female dominance over men.

Answer 3

If you look g*y and like the dominant female partner, it will be deemed chivalrous if you hold doors open for pretty girls.  Some may not like it as well.

Answer 4

Chivalry should only be acceptable if its an accepted construct by the mainstream feminist community.

Answer 5

I totally agree with you on this one!  I think it is because there is still an element of inequality these days.

Answer 6

If you wouldn't hold the door for a man, and only a woman--yes, I'd think it was "chivalrous" That's a good thing, by the way! Don't stop, we women love that.

Answer 7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalric

Why do you need, want, or crave, special recognition for performing acts of courtesy and politeness?  The act is its own reward.

You want to be chivalous?  Go back to the middle ages and wear armor and be a knight.

Answer 8

we don't have that many chivalrous guys over here...

my girl friend was opening the door to get in but a guy just walked out WITHOUT waiting for her to get in first. u could guess how pissed off she was. lol

Answer 9

because it was probably the women of that period who regarded men of nice behaviour as such ..it was all their idea. we (men) were just being polite then, see?

and the 'acknoeledgement' wasn't really a big deal to us, we were happy enough to simply make you (girls) smile.

Answer 10

I hold doors open for people all the time. I think if a man does it, its polite, not chivalrous. I think chivalry is only when you ride around on a horse with your sidekick on a donkey, attacking windmills... i mean... uh.. giants....

Answer 11

actually it does make sense, since the definition of chivalry is:

-the medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.

a.the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.

see, the word was invented in referance to behavior of men towards women. there were no women knights. so you are being polite, but not chivalrous.

Answer 12

When I was your age, this gender BS like holding doors open was still pretty entrenched and clearly defined.  Back then, a young women stopping to hold a door open gallantly for a man would garner her, from under his breath and slightly hissed as he walked through, the word, "d**e."  Ahhhh, the good old days of chivalry.

Answer 13

No you are not chivalrous.  You are not a d**n knight in shining armour.  Get over yourself.  If anyone hold doors open then it's a party trick.

Answer 14

If a woman continuously looks at another woman on a bus is she plotting insidious sexual predation, or just looking? This is perceived as different behaviour between men and women. Wrongly so.

I actually accept your point about chivalry. Whoever does it, it's mere politeness.

Answer 15

youre only chivalrous if the door was a swinging 10 tonne door which would have smashed the next person to a pulp- otherwise man or woman you are just revealing your better upbringing.its wrong to consider men doing this simple task as chivalrous unless they were actually protecting you from a bunch of hoodlums who had a knife and was willing to be knifed in the back to save you. otherwise its just courtesy the same as when you let the people in the lift come out first before barging in