Please explain how this is fair at all?? ?

Question

There is a lady that lives in our building who's son is 13, gets high. He bugs everyone for cigarettes or alcohol to give him or buy for him. He has been in trouble with the police at-least 10 times in the next few months. He is said to have ADD or ADHD.

But the thing is she is never home, brags about spending time at the bar or with her boyfriend of the month. Leaving her son home for days at a time alone. And her son stays up til 4am banging and leaving to walk the city streets. I have heard him tell her to shut the F up, calls her a bi*ch or cu*t. He missed about 40 days of school last year.

But she has had people here talking with her and her son. When I spoke with my landlord (about them being kicked out) he said she is going for more money threw welfare. HOW IS THAT FAIR?

Now I understand ADD isn't easy...my boyfriend is ADD and Bipolar. He still works his a*s off for the things we have.

I had the police here last night because he was banging on our door and swearing at us....mother was no where to be found.

Answer 1

If you called the police and the mother wasn't there they should have taken him. Call the child abuse hot line. ADD and ADHD has nothing to do with smoking, drinking and being home alone. Clearly there is a problem. Report it ASAP

As for the landlord he sounds like a money hungry creep. So if welfare gives him the money he will continue to let them live there and the boy will continue to bug you. Classical A**hole

Answer 2

These people are incompetent; without charity they would die in the street. Is that the kind of "fair" you are looking for?

Answer 3

"Life isn't Fair"

Answer 4

I would suggest moving however I'm sure that it is not that easy for you or you would have moved already. I would call child welfare on her and also get witnesses in your apartment to be around when they show up. The landlord seems like a slum landlord and is only concerned with the rent and not the good tenants. I would also question the police and follow through on th complaint.

good luck!

Answer 5

Well, there is an old saying "Life isn't fair". Don't worry about what other people do. Worry about yourself. If their noise or domestic violence is bothering you, call the police. And check your lease-- there is usually a clause that says that if there are x number of noise violations, you'll get evicted. And you said he drinks and gets high-- both of those are illegal. Call the police. That's all you can do.

And ADD? Are you joking. That's no excuse! It seems like now days everyone with a bad attitude or behavior problem is diagnosed with something or other and then everyone gives up on them. The school/social workers tell the parents that it's wrong to punish them anymore b/c the kid can't control his own actions. BULL c**p! Like I said, life isn't fair. He'll drop out of high school and end up in jail if he keeps this up. No employer will put up with this. No college will. No spouse will. He sounds like he needs to go to reform school or something. He probably needs a father figure to straighten him out. Sounds like everyone babies him b/c of his "ADD"....

PS-- marriage isn't about a wedding. That's one day and after a year or so, it won't be that big of a deal to you anymore. Not everyone on Welfare is like those people in your apartment. What about people with debilitating cancer? People who've been in an accident and are now paralized? I think everyone should at least try their hardest to get a job and make something of themselves. And I think Welfare is just a way our country is trying to become socialistic. But be serious. It is what it is. The amount of money coming out of your paycheck isn't going straight to your neighbors. And it certainly wouldn't pay for a big fancy wedding or a house. You get a lot of it back at the end of the year, I'm sure. If you want to move, move. If you want to get married, do it. You don't need some huge event. Spend this time preparing for marriage, not planning a wedding and being pissed at your neighbors.

Answer 6

This is a serious problem. If he is banging on doors and disturbing everyone in the building, they should be kicked out without exceptions. Having ADD is one thing, but getting high and drunk and banging on peoples' doors is another. It's not fair.  

Answer 7

Welfare and life are never really fair, and that's a fact you have to accept. One thing you can do, is intercede a bit, in an effort to help this 13 year old would be to report what you are seeing to child welfare services.. Perhaps they will step in and take some action. Sounds like this kid has little or no supervision, and the idea of him smoking, drinking and being left home alone for days at a time is not acceptable especially since he is handicapped.  A lot of what can happen will be dependent on the state you live in..  

Answer 8

ADD is something that can be dealt with.  The way this mother is parenting is the real problem.

I would call CPS.

Answer 9

How do you think your boyfriend got that way, through understanding and support by his family and the community, not by being thrown under the bus by every holier-then-thou I know better then you person that comes along.