Please give me advice on getting a 4 year old to bed!

Question

My 4 year old is so sweet and well behaved during the day, but once bedtime comes around, she refuses to go to bed and is impossible to deal with. She starts school in a few weeks so I need to get her into a routine, and would like her in bed by 8 or 9 at the latest. She doesn't nap during the day. Last night I made her stay in her bed and she started yelling things like "you ruined my life" and "I don't like you" so I kept going in there yelling at her to not talk to me like that, and it just prolonged her going to bed. I was furious with her. My husband can't help since he works at night. I just need some fresh advice.

I have a 3.5 month old baby that goes to sleep for the night by 9pm. I really need to get things done around the house so I dislike the idea of having to turn off all the lights for her to go to bed. But, I'm willing to hear ANYTHING. I actually brought this up to her pediatrician a few months ago and she prescribed her Hydroxyzine. Even though she drives me crazy, I will not drug her to go to sleep.

We wake up every morning by 8am with the baby. If you have any advice for me, I'd love to hear it. Thanks!

Answer 1

Get a routine and follow it. We made up a chart with a picture of everything our son had to do for his bedtime routine and then we cut out his picture and placed it on his chart. The chart had the following things on it.

1. Potty and wash hands.

2. Brush teeth.

3.Get pajamas on.

4. Story time.

5. Hugs and kisses

As he accomplished the tasks he could put his picture on the task he completed and could visually see what the next thing he needed to do was.  I'm not saying every night was great but it worked most of the time.  Children at that age like routine and they like to have things planned out.  If your toddler can get a sense of what is expected during bed time she might not fight it so bad.

Answer 2

Wow  that would drive me crazy too.  I have a four year old boy and he is a challenge also to get to bed.  I used to put him in bed by 9 and he would drive me crazy for an hour -

So recently I started putting him in bed around 7:30 and letting him watch one tv show.  At 8 PM the TV goes off and so do the lights.  He gave me a hard time last night (I gotta pee, I need a drink, turn a night light on, blah blah blah).  So finally around 9 he fell asleep.  I have a 4 month old too.  He is in bed every night between 7:30 and 8 PM.

I guess we just have to be consistent and stick to our guns.  Being consistent is the only way to deal with it if you ask me.... You can lock them in, you can't spank them....

Answer 3

This might be an unpopular answer on here, but would your daughter fall asleep to a favorite movie? You could try putting a TV in her room and playing a movie for her.  My daughter doesn't do this all the time, but there have been nights she couldn't sleep and my hubby and I had to get up early for work the next day, so I tried this and it worked well. She was asleep within the first 15 minutes of the movie.

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Do you have a routine?  Go thru the routine, toothbrushing, prayer, read a story, whatever...on to lights out.  Let her know that once your finished with the routine, its time to sleep.  Put her down, don't argue with her.

The first time she gets up, take her hand (pick her up if necessary) and put her back in bed and state firmly but calmly,  "I told you it was bedtime, have a good nite, you're not to get up again".  Leave the room.

If she gets up again just lead her back to the room (or carry her) without looking at her or talking to her again.  She'll get the hint after two or three nights of this if you are completely consistant.  

Answer 5

Is she excited at all about starting school soon? If so, you can use that as a reason for her to want to go to bed. Some kids pride themselves on doing things that big kids do. If you have the time/patience, simulate a typical day at school to increase her day time activity and get her ready for the changes she'll have to face. By bedtime, she may be all tired out and more than willing to hit the hay.  

Answer 6

Routine, Routine, Routine. My daughter just turned 3 and she was a very good crib sleeper we started her on a schedule at 6 weeks old. She still continues the schedule, at 8:30 she is in the tub and then she gets out about 8:45 we get her dressed and lay her in our bed and she watches Curious George and Wordworld that we have DVR'd then I move her into her bed and she gets to watch a movie then she goes to sleep. She is in a big bed now. If she gets out of her bed then I pick her up and tell her "good night love" and put her back and close the door to a crack.

If she gets up again then I pick her up and tell her "good night"

If she gets up again then I pick her up and put her back into her bed without saying anything.

Hope it helps it works with her!

Answer 7

have you tried a warm bath and a long story? I saw on this supper nanny show a couple having the same problem. The nanny gave them some good tips. She said to put your child in bed and tell them its bed time, tuck them in with kisses and hugs. The she had the mom sit on the floor next to the bed, not to close though. She told the mom to sit with the side of her face facing the child's bed and to  not to make eye contact and not to say a word to the child. Every night the mother could get farther and farther away from the bed. until she was out of the room. it worked for them. it Took time and patience. Every time the kid would get out of bed the mom would just put her back but not say a word and sit back on the floor. you could even just tuck her in and leave the room. If she comes out take her back to bed and don't say anything to her, Just do it over and over. its very tiresome I'm sure, but its worth a try. eventually they become tired of that and just stay in bed. But I agree with you no drugs to help you put your child sleep. That's crazy. Hope I helped. GOOD LUCK!!!!