Please give me some advice....!!! ANYONE, EVERYONE?

Question

I started taekwondo just over a month ago, bought a uniform and everything and have paid for 2 months of membership...if you are familiar with martial arts you will know that to get to the next belt you have to pass a sort of test thing to see if you are ready (thats called a grading). The test for my region was last Monday and I was supposed to grade, but faked sick cause I'm planning on quitting when my membership ends as I really want to learn the mrdanga (a type of drum) and after a few years of waiting for a good teacher have found one....I haven't yet conveyed my plans to my instructor as i cannot think of a polite way to tell him that I'm going to quit taekwondo cause I want to learn drums instead, and cannot afford financially to do both....my biggest problem is that I just got a call from him (my teacher) saying that he really thinks I'm ready to go to the next belt and so he is presenting me with a unique opportunity to grade tomorrow! The only catch is that is costs $50 and I'm not willing to pay that when I know I'm quitting in a few weeks....ANY advice is greatly appreciated, though please post a comment asap as I will need to communicate with him before tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon!

Answer 1

This is a classic tactic of a McDojo.  They use testing and promotions to keep their students interested and motivated and test and promote them fast, often, and/or early even if their skills are pretty lacking.  Save your money as far as that place goes and if you want to take up drums-do so.  A legitimate school and instructor with high standards will not use these kind of tactics and I am willing to bet that if you test their is a contract for the next belt just waiting for you to sign after they tell you that you did so well in your testing and that they think you have real potential.

Answer 2

You're not the first student to quit on him, and you won't be the last. Just tell him that you appreciate his help in teaching you taekwondo, but you've found another hobby that you are interested in taking up. If he asks why you can't do both, simply tell him of your financial situation. If he still continues to convince you to stay, don't feel bad about saying no. He will probably ask you to stay and offer you a discount, but that's just because he wants your money. A loss of a student is a loss of funds, so be strong and just tell him you had a great time learning from him, that it's nothing personal, but you want to move onto a different hobby.

Answer 3

You know I hate to sound like a jerk, but I am going to be a bit blunt here. Obviously this is one of your first experiences with Martial Arts, so I feel a slight need to inform you.

You can gain some solace in your decision by realizing he is in fact ripping you off. It might not be him per say, it could very well just be his organization.

But first off, you are grading for a rank within a month of instruction? That is pretty suspect, then most of all you have to pay 50 bucks for this rank... I hate to tell you by that is highway robbery. You shouldn't have to pay for ANY ranking below black, aside from maybe the cost of the belt IF that. Some organizations may require a promotion fee (I would stay away from that org) but 50 bucks for white beltish ranking is severely taking advantage of people.

Again, it probably isn't your instructor deliberately trying to rip you off, it is probably the organization or the dojo, or something of the sort.

Also advancing in rank in a month is indicative of a pretty weak program, even if you are a phenom.

Anyway, as to the talking to the instructor: Like everything HONESTY is always the best policy. No one wants to burn bridges, and people dislike confrontation. But a sincere, " Thank you for your teaching, and your confidence in me, I am not interested in grading, I have another interest I would like to pursue when my paid time is up, but I do appreciate the time you have spent teaching me."

Anything of that sort. You are far better off in this life to just be honest and polite with some tact then to try to use subterfuge or dishonesty to avoid what you may perceive to be a potentially awkward conversation.

When you are honest everything is easier, you don't have to think of excuses, you don't have to worry about being caught and you don't stand the risk of slipping up, or feeling guilty.

You found something else you would prefer to do, and you do not want to invest any more money into TKD. Simple, easy, honest. Not to mention it is impossible to argue.

Provided you stand the risk of him trying a high pressure sales tactic (sounds like he may be the type) and trying to drop prices for you, etc. But the same way you walk away from a car salesman, you can walk away from this. Be simple, direct, and honest. Remain polite, remain calm, and in the end you will feel liberated by telling the truth and how easy it has made things.

And like others have said, no doubt he has had students leave. He probably has had students leave and return as well. So it isn't as though you are crushing his soul or hopes and dreams.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Just call him back and tell him you can no longer afford to take classes. He can't argue with that.

Answer 5

i`ve missed a step here. if you have decided you don`t want to do it any more,why are you going at all?just stop going.if you are still going just because you paid the money,regardless of if you go or not you are not going to get your money back.don`t go to the grading.don`t throw good money after bad.

Answer 6

Just ring him and tell him that sorry taekwondo is not for you. I am sure he will under stand that. You do not have spend your money. If you are not going to be there.

Answer 7

i know the viewpoint im about to espouse is not a conventional one.

BUT

if you want to feel youve achieved something with TKD you could grade and then youd have something tangible (a belt) to show for the work you have so far put in.

Of course $50 is a lot to pay for just the ability to say you achieved a belt.

If you really want to quit and take the drums then do it. you have to be happy.

Answer 8

I dont think so because ur gonna quit anyway...so why waste ur money!!!

♥BTW, My middle name is Radhika ♥

Answer 9

Well if you really want to quit and pursue other activities then you should speak with him and thank him for the honor and the opportunity to grade but you have decided that this isn't the right activity for you. Just be polite and I'm sure he will agree and understand :)