Please help, I need help figuring this one out?

Question

I and another co-worker just started a new job this week. We sit right next to each other. We even have lunch together. Problem is, I have been having trouble figuring this lady out. When we have lunch, we have good conversation. But, when we get back into the office, and I have a work related question, her body language suggests to me that she does not want to answer me. I am not stupid and only ask questions when necessary. We work on the same project together and are in the learning process. She's the type of person who will buddy up to the person in authority in the office. And, it's really weird, it seems to work for her. She hardly talks to me at all in the office, but, she's very chatty with our superiors. The office is very busy and the supposed "training" that we are getting, is not very clear always. If I ask a question of the superior, it's like I am supposed to know the answer. But, with her, they talk, laugh, hold conversation and tell her what she needs to know. But, it's as if she does not want to share any information with me. And, she's alway's asking me how far along with the work I am. As if she's competing with me. It's really strange, I don't know what to make of this. I am a very polite type of person who does not mind helping someone or sharing job related information with anyone who asks. I am starting to feel like I cannot trust her. How would you handle this type of situation?

Answer 1

I think she is competing with you! Jobs are scarce and she is "protecting her territory", all the while being nice enough to you to do two things: keep you from realizing it and get as much information from you as possible to use in her own work. I too am a "nice person" and found out the hard way! Keep your knowledge and what you learn to yourself but be sure to point out to the boss how much you are learning and that you enjoy new challenges! Keep her at arms length, lunch and chatting are O.K. but should be limited to movies, recipes, traffic - whatever.

Don't let her mess with you!

Good luck.

Answer 2

she sees you as her competition and doesn't want to help you.  she's two faced and you'd be best off not bothering with her.  learn on your own or ask questions of someone else.  she won't be a help to you.

Answer 3

Sorry, but you cannot trust her.  She is status climbing and is intent on ingratiating herself to her superiors in order to get promoted to the detriment of anyone on her team, including you.

Chances are that she has made cute, negative, remarks about you which is why you are not getting the answers you need but she does.

I've worked with women like this, and they will take anybody down to get ahead.  Do not go to lunch with her; she collects information from you which she can use against you; usually in the form of a joke; but, you are the victim of it.

Find another on the team that you can be friendly with and avoid her like the plague.  She will take on each team member and attempt to undermine them.  If your supervisor is smart, he will soon recognize her motives.  If not, she will be promoted, and hopefully you will be rid of her.

Do not be mistaken by her laughter, or supposedly sense of humor, this women is vicious.

The ones I have worked with are always monorities; and, I think, they falsely think this is the only way they can get ahead.  I was stung, really stung before I caught on to the scheme.  Thankfully, the supervisor was also a minority who was wise to her antics and neutralized her.  

But, when she went to another assignment, a white supervisor fell for her hook, line, and sinker and the whole group suffered from this involvement, because she systematically singled out each other member of the group and belittled them to the supervisor.

I was able to get reassigned, some others were too, and eventually so few people were left in the group, that the white supervisor lost his management position.  Upper level management, I'm sure heard the gossip and decided this man didn't have good management practices.

The irritant was eventually labeled as a trouble maker and therefore also neutralized, her reputation suffered and she had to look for another position.