Please help, do I deserve this hellish existence? Serious answers only please.?

Question

I am living in an emotionally abusive relationship with my parents due to several episodes of depression and hospitalization. Currently I am interviewing for jobs to get out of here, and I am a grown woman.

Problem is, the person that is abusive is getting senile and just took himself off antidepressants. He acts 12, just threw the remote control for the tv at me, after I asked him why he just arbitrarily changed the movie I was watching. It is a long ugly story, but sometimes I wonder why I am being punished. I have been subjected to his abuse most of my life.

I wonder if anyone believes that it is karma, something I did in a past life or do I just deserve to be unhappy all my life. I have no friends or anyone that wants to talk to me. I have always tried to live by the golden rule to treat others as I would like to be treated, and it seems I have gotten run over and taken advantage of for being nice. That is why I am puzzled. I am actually in the helping profession myself and have been called many nice things from people I care for.

My dad is not going to change or go to the doctor on my suggestion, or anyone Else's. I do have a counselor and she has actually labeled him as immature, a jerk and emotionally abusive. I just do not understand why I deserve this life....??????

Answer 1

I understand what you are saying because i have the same thing with friends how i am nice to everyone and no one is nice back and i want to be a psychologist.  You need to get yourself out of his control.  Move out no matter where it will be better then being abused some more.. and no you do not deserve it. I don't believe its karma but i do believe that you will get good things in return for being a good person.  Just keep being you because that is the best thing you can do and get away from your dad you don't need it.

Answer 2

Sweetie, you most definately do not deserve this. There is such thing as KARMA, but there is good karma too. Its gods way of getting you out of there quicker, because if your life was good there chances are you would stay there longer, but youre life sucks now. just keep your chin up and get the h**l outta there fast

Answer 3

this sounds cliche but it works....open up a bible and read from it. i have one that has an index about anxiety, parents, etc. whatever u need to know about- trust me it works, pray

Answer 4

It's possible he could be suffering from dementia. Not just old people get this, it sometimes can appear in a persons 40's and that would explain mood swings. Or it could be some other mental health problem or even diabetes or high blood pressure.

Your counselor should be able to suggest to you what to do in order for you to get help not just for you but for him.

Good Luck.  

  

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like Karma is punishing you because you seem like a kind rational person.  You were just dealt a crummy hand.  You need to throw that one down and get all new cards!  There are Royal Flushes out there!

NOBODY should have to put up with abuse of any kind.  Even from our parents.  I'm all for respecting parents but respect is a two way street.  You have to give it if you want to get it in return.  We should not have to tolerate abuse just because "they are my parents".  My mother is the most wickedly abusive person I have ever known (verbal and emotional-not physical).  She comes from a long line of bi-polar/schitzophrenic women.  Her mother did it to her and her mother did it to her etc.........She did it to me.  I have a 24 year old daughter and it has been my goal every day of my life to NOT do the things to her that my mom did to me.  We have a wonderful relationship.  No one in my life (and I've had some doozies!) has ever talked to me as horribly as my own mother.  I always tolerated it because she was my mom and for the last 10 years, I was the only one in the family still speaking to her.  I felt obligated because I was all she had.  She had cancer and I did everything for that woman from shaving her head, dumping her puke, cleaning her house, sitting through every chemo.  I have three brothers too.  They didn't lift a finger!  She has always done and said cruel, mean things and then denied it which of course meant never acknowledging or apologizing any of it.  She is in total denial that there is a thing wrong with her-it's always everyone else.  At least her sisters know of their problems and take medication, go to therapy etc.  My mom--no way.  Four years ago she got mad out of the blue and hasn't talked to me since.  I tried for months, sent birthday cards etc.  She wouldn't respond.  Then, out of the blue, she did some unforgivable things which involved my husband and I quit trying.  She calls every April to tell me what a pathetic excuse for a daughter I am.  Finally, a year ago, during my April call, when she really got going, I told her "I am done" and hung up.  This past April, I didn't answer.  It took me 40 years to stand up to her and once I did, I felt like a ton of bricks was taken off of me.  I had moments of guilt for a while, that old "but she's my mom" things reared it's ugly head.  But, I know in my heart that no matter what happens, I did everything I could and will have no regrets for my decision to cut the cord.  She didn't deserve me in her life.  If she could be civil, I would be there but as long as she is going to treat me like c**p, I don't have to put up with it Mom or not!  The past four years have been so peaceful that sometimes I feel bad for enjoying it so much.  But, then I relive my relationship with her and get over it pretty quick.  

If you are an adult, get out and don't look back.  As long as a person doesn't recognize that they have a problem, they aren't going to change.  You can't fix their disorder yourself but you can destroy yourself by trying.  You have to take care of you.

Hang in there and keep treating people like you would want. There are good folks out there.  Remember, "birds of a feather.....".  Surround yourself with good people with positive attitudes and yours will improve.  Depression is contaigous and so are smiles.  You just take care of you.  Keep going to your counselor.  I'm a huge believer in Karma  and I believe yours is coming.  Sometimes it takes a long time for Karma to catch up but when it does, it's worth it.  Life has a way of evening itself out.  Yours is coming.  Be patient and keep doing good for people.  Karma will find you.

I know this is long but I want you to understand you're not alone and you don't deserve it and life can be better.

Answer 6

You deffinitely need to get out. If hes gonna abuse you. I take it you have no where else to go. I had the same situation, so I joined the military. Think of places you could go, and go. As long as it will not hurt you but benefit you in the long run. I really hate that people do choose to be absurd and unrully. If you need further help or any info you can contact me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

You do not deserve to be abused in any way, nobody does.  

Answer 8

Many people ask this question in life.

Why me?

Why do I deserve this?

Many nice people such as yourself get railroaded in life, and it sucks and it is unfair...

But no one will ever know why

Sorry for your life troubles. It will get better. You are going to get a job, move out, and be happier.

I really understand with your problems with your father - my dad has dissociative identity disorder, and he basically acts in the way you describe sometimes - really moody, really crazy, really immature. With no consideration for others. But, I am moved out now. I don't have many friends either, and sometimes that bothers me, but I just keep on going, and try to enjoy the things I have that are good.

It's good that you have a counselor. You will be ok.  

Answer 9

If someone told you all you needed to do was recite a saying or buy a necklace or wear a certain piece of clothing and all your problems would be solved, I bet you would!  It's Almost that easy.  God is wanting to help you.  God is able to help you, but first you must do it His way. Like Cain and Able, both Wanted to have their sacrifices accepted, only one was accepted.  There are 10 things that make a person Right with God.  Only 10 things He asks us to do and He will empty Heaven to help you if He had to, to Help you!  I know He loves you.  He's the Perfect Father who wont throw the remote at you.  He will give you a place to live, and all the Brothers and Sisters and Moms and Dads you can handle (in this life).  It's that easy. The more you give Him, the more he gives you back by the 100's!  The Bible says that Potifer was blessed After Joseph came in to his home.  When Joseph was thrown in prison, The whole prison was blessed with blessings when Joseph went in.  Laban's entire flock was multiplied when Jacob came and lived with him.  You can't stop God when he's on your side.  The only thing He wants is your love and respect by obeying his commandments and He say's He'll pour out so many blessings that you cannot recieve them all!  Love is God, God is Love.

Answer 10

My name is veronica also:]  But in no way do you deserve the life you are living, no one does.  You need to know this, because if you dont then you will always let people walk all over you.  I am the same way as you, I am very nice to so many people but they treat me like **** most of the time.  My dad was also abusive, he isn't anymore but now he is just a drug addict and is doped up most of the time and that is killing me. I am working and saving up money to get the h**l out of this household and you need to do the same.  Keep on being an amazing person, because from what I read it sounds like you are:]  Just never give up hope, and stay strong.  

It is not karma in anyway, it is just the hand of cards you were dealt.  You did nothing wrong in your past life and you are not doing anything wrong now. It is just the way things are, karma has nothing to do with it.

I want to be a therapist for people with eating disorders, because i have battled with one my whole life.  I want to help people, and I think that is great you do as well.  

Answer 11

The way you are looking at this situation is called, "self-pity." Harsh but true. What did your therapist tell you ? Did that give you  the impression that you deserve it? Get out, then sharply curtail the amount of time you spend with them. I'll mention further, because I can tell it's about to become an issue, you SHOULD NOT accept abuse from your parents if they become dependent upon you for care as they grow older. My mom's got Borderline Personality Disorder. It was incredibly difficult, but after issuing an ultimatum that she stop with the perpetual abuse and she refused, I cut her out of my life.It will remain so. She has been so awful to me for so many years that she will not have me to abuse from now on. It broke my heart to do it, but it's such a relief. Good luck.