Please help - Breakup - Mature answers only!

Question

Quick life story. Met my partner almost 7 years ago. Have 2 wonderful kids together (4 and 3) and have lived the past few years not being as happy as we could with each other.

Anyways, the last week, he has been acting strange, and when I asked him last night if he wanted to me with me he said he wasn't sure. he said he loved me, but not sure what ;love that was.

He said his been very anxious the last week, and he doesnt know what to do. Says he is not sure if its just too late to work us out. I am absolutely devastated. Even though there have been so many times that I think Id be better off without him, I still love him so much! I have suggested marriage councilling,m but he is not to fond of the idea (we are not married yet)......

We had a talk this morning, but it lead nowhere. Even s*x this morning wasnt the same. I am thinking, well why is he still here, if he didnt want us to work out, he would have moved out. But then I think,m is it because he will miss the kids.

I need suggestions please you all. I dont want to loose him, Id be lost without him

Answer 1

That's really sad. Maybe you 2 should worry about right now instead of the future because the thinking about the future only creates more stress. I have never had a situation like this but maybe you need to tell him that you really love him and don't want to breakup but also you should ask him if he thinks you two should breakup but i'm not sure he'd say he wants to but if he does then you need to work something out. Hope this helps :)

Answer 2

It sounds like he is a little confused in his thoughts and feelings. Maybe he isn't sure you really love him - if this is the case, telling him you do won't help because he doubts it deep down. However, let's hope this isn't the case. Maybe something is going on at work? Maybe he thinks the only reason you want to stay together is because of the kids? You need to talk to him. Leave the kids out of it because that will just make him feel guilty - men who feel guilty don't always give honest answers. Perhaps you need a small vacation from him - absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does. If you're away for a bit, maybe he'll realize how much he would miss you and that he really does love you.

Since I'm only 16, I'm not sure if that advice will be helpful to you or not. I hope it is, though.

Answer 3

You were not specific enough to the reason that your not as happy as you could be.  Maybe you need to spice things up . It sounds like maybe he is considering something else but is holding back due to the fact that you have 2 children together and I'm sure that  that make a difference.  Sure he will miss them, but surely he still has feelings for you.  You say that you love him, then if you love him you better start  showing him. You have been together 7 years, he needs some spice and if anyone knows what he likes and dislikes, you should know. Don't give up on 7 years, married or not.  If you love him then show him and fight for your relationship. Maybe it's time to send the kids to grandma's house for the weekend so the two of you can spend some one on one time together.  It's easy to loose each other in everyday life especially when your working and trying to raise a family.  You have got to make time for each other so you can laugh together and love together and TALK and communicate with each other.Good Luck!

Answer 4

maybe its something he is going through personally, he says hes been feeling anxious try and get to the root of the problem, dont try and force it out of him or ask him while he is relaxing but if he makes a comment about it tell him your concerned about how hes feeling and let him know you'd like to help him get to the root of whats bothering him dont force it out of him but ask a few simple questions such as when does he feel worst, when does he feel best, is there anything your doing to add to his anxiety and is there anything you can do to lessen it.

another thing dont focus on trying to make your relationship better focus on making your mate happy and inturn a better relationship will result.

even if he isnt fond of counciling doesn't mean you can't go alone and talk out whats going on in your relationship, try not to force him into going or say my therapist said blah blah blah or so and so. just listen to what the counciler has to say and apply it to your relationship. if the counciler thinks he should attend with you, you can have him/her phone your mate and ask him to go with you to an appointment he will feel more of an obligation like ok this is the therapist my mate is going to trying to better our relationship what kind of guy would i be to refuse.

best wishes!