Please help...I'm having bad thoughts about her

Question

I'm hurt=( Why didn't she return my email? If I see her again I don't want to interact with her?

I recently say my former priest at my job. She "seemed" very happy to see me, and even told me it was nice to see me. She asked me about my job & school & for help at my job. She was terminated in Jan. I'm not sure why? I didn't ask her. Also, I have fam probs & I think my uncle prob told her. And I stopped going to church b/c people were disrespecting me. She seemed like she was waiting around for something, it felt akward. I'm really introverted and shy so I didn't ask anything past how are you and answered her q's and told her several times it was good to see her. She finally said bye. Well, I felt bad so I emailed her and just told her it was great seeing her & asked about her fam. I also mentioned I some of the stuff we talked about (to show I was paying attention & listening. It's been almost a week now.

Answer 1

There could be a hundred different reasons she seemd to be acting funny.  The most obvious is that she was terminated from her job.  I'm thinking that to get fired as a priest, it might have been something quite serious.  So, perhaps she was feeling awkward because she knows you know she was fired.

Perhaps she does know about your family problems, wanted to help, but is not now allowed to discuss issues with her former parishioners.  

Perhaps she is not supposed to be associating with men from the church as terms of her termination.

Perhaps she just had a bad day.

Whatever the reason, it is probably less about you and more about something going on with her.

I'm picking up something in your email, though, that I would like to discuss.  It is some advice I was given that helped me tremendously in my life.  A friend once told me that "not everything in this world revolves around you."   She said it to me to be helpful and it really helped.  I learned to quit worrying about what other people were thinking of me (people think about us a lot less than we think they are thinking about us).  Not every situation requires me to be the center of attention.   And, if someone was not friendly to me, I let it roll off (for instance, why should you not enjoy going to church just because there are some stupid people there - and are they really disrespecting you anyway or are you being a bit sensitive).

With her, move on and when you see her again, just greet her as you would a casual acquaintance - that is really what your relationship is with her, so nothing more should be expected to come of the encounter.

Good luck!

  

Answer 2

Sounds like you've developed a romantic attachment to her.  I'm sure she senses this and doesn't want to perpetuate that kind of relationship as it would be unprofessional.  She may even be somewhat embarrassed since she no longer holds her former position. Still, for her, discretion and discernment is very important in preserving her career.

Her profession calls for her to be a good listener; she's that way with all who seek her guidance--not just you.  Sounds like you need a friend-- someone to talk to.  Sorry, she's not the one.

Answer 3

You need help go to a psycahiatrist