Please help!!!! I'm worried about this?

Question

When I woke up this morning there was a lot of yelling going on. My dad was the one who was mostly yelling, which is no suprise cuz he gets mad easily. It was something little - my sister wouldn't give him the remote - and he hit her for it! My mom defended her and they got into a fight. Once my dad went to work and I got up, my sister told me my mom and dad might get a divorce, but they aren't sure yet. In some ways, I'm not suprised cuz my dad can be a real jerk. He is racist and when my guy friend called, he picked up the phone and swore at him! And he hurts me and my sister quite a bit - I mean like he will pull us by the hair or slap us, and that really hurts me physically and emotionally. He is never actually there for me. Like if I tell him about something, he will pretty much ignore me. So that tells you about my dad.

Now what worries me if they get a divorce is my dad might go back to Indiana(he came from there and we live in Wisconsin) so I might have to switch a lot. And our German Shephard dog is very VERY bad around strangers. The only people he will get along with are ones he's seen since the first couple of days we got him, and that's not many people. He's a very big dog. My mom said if they got a divorce there's a chance we might have to put him to sleep! I hate how he is around other people, but it's not like I want to put him asleep! And she said we might have to move if they get a divorce cuz we have such a big house. It's not like we'd move to a different town or anything, but we've lived in this house for 8 years and we have great neighbors

I'm not exaggerating this at all, but I'm not saying it will happen, I'm just worried about it.Please help!!!!!! 10 points for best answer!!!!

Answer 1

It is never easy on the children when parents decide to get a divorce.  yes there will be some changes, but for right now, let's concentrate on how you might help them.  Why don't you ask your mother to see if your father would agree to try marriage counseling before they make any rash decisions.  Don't worry yourself sick over things that you have no clue about.  Your mother is just speculating, and should not be sharing this with you until she is sure of what is going to happen.  She will receive child support and alimony, and may even be able to keep the house until you and your sister are grown.  If your mother is serious about getting a divorce, tell her to get a good attorney asap, in order to preserve her rights.

Answer 2

I agree 100% with Angel.

Answer 3

Sweetieeee I grew up in a broken home too. Don't worry about your parents. If they get divorced wont you be happy to get away from the negativity?? To NOT have someone screaming 24/7?? To NOT be put in a situation where you have to defend your little sister? And yes it will suck to move out of your home. After 8 yrs its not just a house, its home sweet home. I dont understand why ur mom would put down the dog...maybe when ur parents actually get divorced you can pull the guilt trip thing and say you "need" the dog cuz it makes you happy?? And if your dads going to move states away, do you really want to visit him? what happens if he goes off and starts yelling? your mom wont be there,and you have no escape??  ::sigh:: You need to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. When I was a kid I turned to Art and painting was my hobby. It helped me get away from reality. Just do what you can to not start any **** at home...try doing the dishes more, or sweeping or something. Stay out of their way and you shouldnt get hurt....Good luck

Answer 4

i didn't read it all but he shouldn't be hitting you i know that much ain't good. if y'all worried bout being safe and happy id rather live in a box!! truth!!!

Answer 5

Firstly about your dog, you do not have to put him to sleep ok? If you are unable to care for him due to you having to move then you can give him to a no kill shelter or a german shepherd rescue group. They will rehome him and give him a little bit of behavourial training along the way. So don't think "OMG I have to have my dog put down!" because you have options here. Also, someone via a humane society may be able to foster it for you for a few months until you find somewhere stable to stay, and then you can get your dog back. You don't have to put him down. OK, breathe. One issue out of the way.

As for your parents divorce, it sounds like your Father has definate violence issues (as if you didn't know that huh?) and it could be a very good idea that you and your sister, not to mention the dog and your mother, are away from him. If he moves to another state that is good. The further away from you he is, the less physical harm he can inflict on all of you. Who knows if one day he will just snap and kill one of you. Violence tends to escalate and what he is doing is illegal. He could go to jail for it. If you phoned the police, he could go to jail for spousal and child abuse. He's lucky you or your mother have not phoned the police.

If you do move I'm sure you will be part of the house hunting and deciding process. Talk to your mom about this. Tell her that you would like to be a part of it and if you had to move, you want to be a part of it and go and see the new houses with her. Sometimes a new start is a great beginning. Yes you have new neighbors, but you might have even better neighbors at your new house! You can always knock on the door of the neighbors homes next to the house you are thinking of buying and ask them about the street and local things like that just to see how friendly they are. We did that when we moved. It's a sensible thing to do.

I understand that it's all very sudden and that you've been where you are for eight years and you don't want to move. In a perfect world you shouldn't have to move. I hope you don't have to move. Today you don't. Tomorrow you don't. Live in today, not in "what if" world. Should things change, work with them and talk to your mom and be part of the decision making with her so you can be happy.

Also, if you are looking at a new house, it may have a garden and you may be able to take your dog. You never know what is going to happen. Try and be balanced and stable and live in today. Sure, it's good to think about the future, but it never turns out how you think it's going to. Sometimes it can be even better.

Take it a step at a time. Take a breath. Talk to your mom if you need to. But know your dog will be looked after and ultimately you will work through this rough patch.

All the best.

XOX