Please help! I don't know what to do w/ my realtionship with my parents, especially my mom, anymore!?

Question

I'm so tired of my mom acting like im some problem child or something! All I do is stay at home, do my homework, and go to cheerleading practice! I'm not allowed to go on dates or stay out after 8, and im almost 18 years old! I have a license but Im not allowed to drive. Today I left my eyeliner in the bathroom and I didnt put my clothes in my closet because I cant fit anything in there since I have to share it with my sister and grandma. Just because of that my mom starting throwing stuff at me and she started saying how she hates my attitude and how im such a problem child.. Just for that!! As usual, she started cussing at me and I had to hear about how I'm never gonna grow up and how and I had to see chairs fly everywhere. This time I honestly couldn't stand it anymore! I'm tired of hearing her cuss at me while I just sit there listening to her so I just exploded! I was like "mom! Honestly its not that big of a deal! Im tired of you treating me like Im out doing drugs or going to the club when all I ever do is stay at the house and study! My friends who actually do all that stuff and stay out past 12 don't even get yelled at or punished as much as I do! I've tried talking to you in the past but all you ever do is yell at me! I'm tired of this!!! Just talk to me for once!" And then she started pulling my hair and left the house. And she was like "When I come back everything will be different! Don't you ever expect me to take care of you again you witch!" I mean I know I shouldn't have yelled back but I couldn't hold it in much longer! Iv'e tried talking to her but all she ever says back is shut up! I don't know what to do! And I can't go to my dad because he's not really a "loving" dad. He'd probly just tell me to stop complaining. What do I do!?? Its not like I can just call up my relatives cuz theyre either in England or at the Philippnes so they barely even know me. I'm sooo frustrated right now! What do I do??? I'm so scared of my mom I can't even talk to her anymore!

Answer 1

Your mom sounds like she's taking out all of her anger on you. It seems like she has other problems in her life that are stressing her out so when she comes home even the slightest thing will make her lose her cool and release all of her pent up anger from the day. I would tell  you to talk to her about how you feel but in this case that doesn't seem like such a good idea because your mom would only get angrier, as she doesn't seem as though she would admit to having a problem. Try spending more time out of the house, like stay at a friend's house for the afternoon or go to the library and study. Try to keep out of your mom's way as much as you can. You could talk to a counselor at your school and ask them to help you deal with your mother's anger. Good luck.

Answer 2

I know it is no excuse but it sounds like your mom is very frustrated.  It could be money, work, etc.

Kindness love and respect have to start somewhere!  Take a step back as if you are on the outside looking in.  Try to figure out what the real problem is.  Do not question her or you will cause more problems.  Maybe she is tired after working all day and just wants to sit down and put her feet up.

I am not saying to become her slave but it wouldn't hurt for her to come home to a clean house and dinner on the table.  It wont be fixed over night but i promise the grass is never greener on the other side.  

If this still does not seem to help you should go to your school counselor but be prepared to be taken from your home and placed with a foster family. I'm not telling this because i think your mom is right.. I would never lay a hand or scream at one of my children.  It just that my brother and his wife are foster parents and they are really good ones but there are some that are not so good.

You said you were almost 18, How close to graduation.. maybe you can work on helping your mom until then and then move on with a clear mind.

Answer 3

How about grand mom? Is she your mom's mother? Ask her for advice. If she isn't able to help, then talk to a school counselor. You need to speak to someone professionally. Your mom sounds like she is under a tremendous amount of pressure for some reason. She obviously loves you and is afraid to allow you to grow up. Your mom may need to speak to a professional person also. Tell your mom you love her and you are worried that she flies off the handle about everything. Ask her to go to family counseling  with you. How about a clergy member? A priest or minister? They are free and that may eliminate one of her objections. You need help. Good luck. You can always e mail me if you need to talk. Just contact me through here and I will be happy to talk to you. I am a dad of five kids and have tons of parenting experience. You are not alone. Good luck.