Please help...I need serious answers about my issue...?

Question

My husband and I have been married for a year and couple months, we've been best friends since middle school and got together on and off for years. At 20 years old I got married to him when he asked me to while he was in military bootcamp. At the time, we was only a couple weeks back together after broken up before so we didn't really think about our relationship before this kind of commitment. He was being stationed in Vegas and it was my first time moving from family and I was not comfortable moving over there with alot of debt and doubts on my shoulders and not having any money saved up for the worse that can happen but he still convinced me to drive from Florida to Nevada because it needed to be done right away. Let me remind you, I told him he should go over there first to get things situated before I come there so we won't have problems, meaning find out about apartments, jobs, etc.. We moved over there in February and til this day I don't have a job yet even when I looked so hard to get one. We had to find a place close to the base and even though the military pays for off base housing, we still have to pay out of pocket and its already putting a hole in ours. For the past months, I've been through so much between our financial issue and personal issues. Since we got married I can say I'm not as into my husband as I use to, meaning the s*x is bad, we lack of communication, he's very irresponsible, insecure, judgmental and he makes dumb mistakes and decisions. He tricked me one time to get into my phone and he read my texts as he pretended to talk to his mother. I can't say I'm innocent because one time I had a real close friend of mines send me texts of sexual things to my phone and I let him because he was making me feel good but on top of that my husband did somethign stupid as well, like going on a community site looking for a s*x partner to be friends with benefits and then lie and say him and his friend was drunk but yet he didnt come home with no sense of alcohol or any sign of intoxication. My family doesn't like my husband at all, they call him a failure, they want me to come back home to Florida and they want me to get away from him because it will make my life better and to get back on track. When I say getting back on track, meaning all my bills I had control of is needing to be out of collections. I sacrificed alot to make a life wit him and it all went to h**l because I even dropped out of school to come over here to put up with so much. I don't know where my marriage or my life is heading but I love my husband but not like I use to because as of now, we can't talk without arguing or even having a good conversation with me getting bored. Please someone help and give me advice on what I should do. I'm not ashamed to say this but he's the main guy I've been with for a long time and there is other guy that I have interest in, please someone help....

Answer 1

Simple go for counseling en he might chnage ,talk to him aen pay for your family if you believe in prayers all the best

Answer 2

Darth is right. The family that prays together, stays together.  

Answer 3

Well ya'll chose to get married and now it seems like when tiimes get hard you both are so quick to throw the commitment and vows out the window. You got married too young. Try to work things out and you both need to put for an effort. If nothing changes, then step.

Answer 4

First of all, you are not mature enough to be married or to be in any kind of committed relationship. You can't find a job since February in Las Vegas?  Please grow up. What kind of job are you looking for? Settle for smth less, be a waitress at least. who pays your bills? What are you doing all day? I lived in Vegas for 4 years it took me 3 days to find a job. Don't blame your husband because you moved there, it was your decision, don't expect him to do everything, you don't seem that you want to work on anything and you are already interested in another guy. How about getting off your *** and getting a job?

Answer 5

Continue to talk to each other

The couple that prays together normally stays together

Answer 6

I hate to see couples in this kind of situation! I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but you need to understand a couple of things.

The first is that its your responsibility--and his--to do everything in your power to make this marriage work. That means no inappropriate texting, pornography, relations, or even thoughts. If you love him and want this marriage to work you need to commit! You need to take a serious interest in your husband and try with all your might to reconnect with him. Same goes for him.

What you need to do is sit down with him, and lovingly--not accusingly!--tell him that you think the two of you need to start aggressively working on your relationship. I suggest playing some get to know you games. I know it sounds stupid, but it could be really fun. Have him create some questions for you, and you for him about middle school, about when you first met, trivia questions about dates and firsts for the both of you. What did I wear on our first date? What first made you fall in love with me?

The main thing is to put your all into your love. I tell a lot of people this, but it never fails. Love is not stagnant. It is ever changing, ever growing, and it doesn't sit still. You need to constantly work at it. Let your husband know that you don't feel at home in Nevada, and ask him if maybe you can take some loans out and go back to school.

I would also suggest, along with doing things on your own to help the relationship, going to a marriage counselor. They can do wonders for a marriage.

God bless and I hope everything works out for you!