Please help. I see disaster coming?

Question

I am going back to Thailand next week. When the elder Americans see me. First thing they say is "Oh, I am sorry! " I don't understand why people say "Sorry"!?! I am happy to go back home and see my parents.

I cannot help, but respond to them, "you should not be sorry. You should wish me luck and be happy for me to go back home and see my parents."

They were silient. It made me think I was doing something wrong. If you were I how do you approach this? Thank you so much!

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By the way, many American people think I am very outspoken. Even African American women said, I am a sweet Thai lady, but I do have my moments. I am aware of my behavior is NOT acceptable in Thailand. I am nervous and don't want to put my foot in my mount and hurt people feelings.

How do I deal with this? Counts 1 to 10? Shut the h**l up? Please help me!

Answer 1

Please be more understanding of culture in America.

In Thailand you would expect it or hope for it from foreigners.

They don't mean any harm at all.

This simply means that they will miss you. It is a kind thing to say and they would be rude not to say it.

Of course they want you to go where you are happy - they want you to know that they that have kind feelings for you and enjoyed knowing you. Responding in anger is completely wrong.

Answer 2

They are not being rude.

They are being polite.

These people are trying to tell you that they will miss you.

Of course they understand that you are looking forward to seeing your family. It would be impolite for them to appear to let you go easily.

This would sound strange in America "oh, you are leaving? Wonderful! Goodbye!"

Do you really think Americans are saying to you their, Thai friend, "Oh you poor thing you have to go back to Thailand that awful dirty country. We feel such pity for you".

Do you think they are really that stupid???

Answer 3

I would suggest not to count to 10 but to 100.

Accept that every society has its own little white lies called "politeness". If a Thai asks me 'pai nai' (where are you going?) I answer 'out' or 'shopping'. Not 'none of your f... business!'. I think the Thai would be surprised if I would tell him my factual agenda of the day. He's just being polite. That's all. Being outspoken is one thing, but being rude quite another.

Answer 4

If your going to to survive back home you better start thinking like a Thai and not like an American.

Answer 5

I find it funny, reading the answers, that people blame you for having the feelings or emotions you have.

Every person in the world, regardless of personal heritage, is entitled to feelings.  Simply because someone is not intending to be offensive does not mean they are not being offensive.

If from my point of view, someone is being rude, then regardless of their intent, they are rude.  Do I 'owe' them anything? Absolutely not!  It is not about them, it is about me, or in this case, about you, Hope.

As to how you should respond, I would say, "Sorry for....what?"

They will likely say, "That you can't stay here longer", which will lead to the reply, "Oh, I can stay here longer, much longer if I choose, but I am excited that I can go home and be with my family.  There is nothing to be sorry for..."

You are saying the right thing... if they are quiet, then, perhaps they have realized they were out of line...

Something along those lines.... It is much more gratifying, to be sure, to say STFU... but you can't...you could, but then you'd be 'in the wrong'

As far as your behavior goes, if not taking c**p from others is not acceptable in Thailand ... so be it.  You, nor any Thai woman should take c**p from from anyone.

I hope it helps... and don't stress too much about coming back.  I know a whole slew of Thai ladies who are more verbose than you ;)

Answer 6

Try thinking before you speak.