Sorry this is so long.
My little sister is fourteen years old. She goes to high school (or will in the fall) and gets decent grades. But anyone who meets her can see there's something wrong.
My sister, H, watches TV from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. That's it. She has no friends or social life at all. My dad frequently belittles her as he did me. And my mother just rides her about every little thing (if she accidentally spills, my mother berates her for a half an hour, etc.). Other than that, they pretty much ignore her.
H isn't allowed to go outside by herself except to go next door to the neighbours'. And at fourteen, she still goes to daycare.
My sister is obnoxious, loud, rude and awkward. When she talks to me, I get the feeling that something's not there. Like, that she's only pretending to feel the way she does.
The thing is, my parents have her totally brainwashed. H wants to live at home until she's forty, says she likes daycare, and doesn't want any friends. But if anyone pays her the smallest bit of attention, she's excited as all get-out.
My parents did the same things to me. Belittling, riding, and even kept me in daycare until, at thirteen, I threatened to run away if they didn't take me out of it.
I spent my whole life trying to convince my parents I needed therapy. I dipped frequently in and out of extreme insomnia and even a bit of depression. My parents told me it was only a phase I was going through.
After I've moved out, I've come to accept that I had a few problems. Even though I hold a lot of resentment toward my parents for them telling me that he didn't mean it when I said a friend of the family touched me years ago, I still go around there so I can see my sister.
I see the same things in her eyes that mirrored exactly what I went through. The need for someone to just CARE and support her, the trying-to-come-to-terms-with-things, and the helplessness.
I've tried to calmly talk to my parents about this and each time, we get into fights. My mother makes excuses, like that H isn't emotionally ready, and when I argue that they aren't giving her any CHANCE, letting her grow, they get angry and explain that I don't know how to raise a kid.
My dad says H is just dumb and it's her fault.
My mother even once said I was to blame, for not being there ever.
I'm twenty years old, getting ready to go to college, living alone with my boyfriend, and slowly getting a good LIFE. When I lived with my parents, yeah. I did stay away a lot. But wouldn't you?
I don't know what to do. I want to help my sister, maybe even adopt her but I can't. I'm unmarried and unemployed. My parents feed my sister, and don't hit her. So Child Services wouldn't really do anything.
How can I help her?
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