Please help. Need advice.?

Question

I am very confused.Im maried for 17 years but i dont love my husband.In the begining everything was fine but then my dreams and espectations fell apart.When we had our son he started going out with friends not coming back home,not helping,drinking.Then some years later i got fed up and started cheting on him and we stoped sleeping together.We was faking that we are perfect family a front of our friends and relatives but we wasn't. We decided to stay together because of our son.And that for so many years. I was cheating on him and he knew.Few months ago i met a guy i like very much and he likes me.We are only friends and only going out and have a fun.But he seems doesnt want to commit because im still married .He knows about my situation and ask me when im going to divorce and i dont know what to say because.From the other side every time when i ask for divorce my husband he become hysteric and threating me with comiting suicide.Please give me some advice how to get out of that situatio

Answer 1

so your the one that began to cheat...why not let him know since the beginging that the flame was gone.and believe me your not helping your kid one bit. you guys might think your so smooth with your plans and moves but your only gonna have that kid recent you two and im sure hes not gonna want to do the same with his own life or he might learn alot from you 2 and think its normal so he can go for it.

Answer 2

Oh woah! Your hubby needs some support to deal with this - councelling sounds like a good idea for both of you. You both don't want to repeat the same mistakes in future relationships and need to move forward for the sake of your son. You both have respect issues and have punished each other what the hurt you've each caused. The new guy might not want you if you do get divorced, he might be calling your bluff and some guys love women when they can't really have them but when they can.....

You aren't helping anyone keeping up this pretence - you all have a right to be happy. Your husband does too.

Answer 3

Speaking from experiance, my parents went through kind of the samething. And it only makes it worst for the child when the parents are together only for a front. Kids are not dumb they know, when things are wrong. And to give love to your kids, you must first be at peace and at love with yourself.

The other person, if he knows about your situation and is still sticking around he must really have a something for you. To me it seems like your husband is blackmailing you. You need to take control of your life and try to move on. You son, who is older now, will understand. Just try to end everything in good terms.

Answer 4

Professionally...

Answer 5

sounds like you have been separated emotionally for a long time!!  i wouldn't put off separating any longer. it will be very difficult especially for him it sounds like. but in the end you can't live your life to take care of him. you have to live your life and do what truly makes you happy. it is very unfortunate that he is threatening you with suicide, but that is just a desperate attempt to keep you. it is a form of emotional abuse to put you and kid through that. if he really feels that way he needs counceling for himself and for the sake of your child. but eventually he will be happier once he gets over you with someone who loves him back. otherwise you will both resent each other if you stay. him cause you don't love him and cheat, and you cause you feel trapped with him. and in turn your son will see this and be messed up and unhappy. you cant control what your husbands choices are and what he does and you can't take care of him he's an adult, you have to take care of you and your son first. you only live once and you can only be you so do what YOU have to do to be happy.