Please help. Question to people who are depressed or have experienced long term depression.?

Question

This is someone who is related to me. She lives on the other side of the world and I live in America. I've been through my own case of depression to the point I didn't care to live anymore. Some of my family members think I should help her out. But how? She is not social and at one point she almost died because of anorexia. What am I suppose to do?!!! I have been in her shoes and I was NOT calling for help. I DID NOT WANT IT. IT MADE THINGS WORSE WHEN PEOPLE THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. I enjoyed being miserable. I felt that it was my only choice.

Now that I socialize I no longer feel alone. HOW DO YOU HELP SOMEONE WHO IS DEPRESSED AND REFUSES HELP? MAYBE SHE IS HAPPY. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES NOT LIVE LIKE OTHERS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE UNHAPPY. I DON'T WANT TO SEEM AS IF I WANT TO HELP HER. I DON'T WANT TO BE JUDGMENTAL OR FORCE MY WAY OF LIFE ON HER. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. Maybe I should talk about random things with her and she will open up.

* 2 minutes

Answer 1

The only way for a person to get help is to want help. If thier way of living is not harming themselves or anyone else, there is nothing yoiu can do, but wait to be asked for help. Its frustrating, but we all have free will, and that is a wierd ride sometimes....

Doc

Answer 2

If she is refusing help then go with that when you talk to her. Give her some possible endings if she stayed on the road she's on, without sounding critical. Don't let her think that there is some magic to life that she is missing out on because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If she has battled anorexia then she probably doesn't care for herself too much. Don't criticize that, address it as someone who is the same way. Let her know that in life you don't have to always be smiling. You can live the rest of your life in a depressed state, and if something makes you smile you'll know what happiness really is for you. And that's the first step.

Answer 3

How does the family know she's even depressed?  I had many of the characteristics of a depressed person when I was in my teens, but I wasn't by any means depressed.

There are a couple of kinds of depression.  One is environmental and the other is chemical.  The chemical variety is easier to treat with drugs.  The environmental variety can be treated with a combination of drugs and therapy.  You could talk to the kid and try to encourage her to get some help.  After all, you are not your sister's keeper.  You should feel at least a limited sense of duty to assist a relative, but it shouldn't fall on your shoulders to fix something that is beyond your ability to fix.

The answer: You can talk to her and encourage her to get some group or individual therapy.  You need to make sure she understands it's OK to feel the way she does and that it's OK for her to get some outside help.  You can't do much more than that.

Answer 4

after my divorce I went into a major state of depression. tried to hang my self in jail and over dose when I was free

I got help and got a grip on life

I cant tell you how to fix the problem other then just bein there and being a freind.

when I went threw the c**p I had no one to talk to.

if I had then I wouldnt have done those drastic things

Dieing is easy,,, its liveing thats hard......

Answer 5

You seem like a very sensitive person,  and

know the answer already. I am sure you will do the right thing.

Answer 6

I think you sent this to the wrong section. this is "Para..psychology"..not Psychology. Actually, I think you should ask this in Mental Health Section. (Got to Health..then Mental Health) They will have more experienced answers there.

But one thing...has this "diagnosis" come from facts..or from assumptions & gossip? When people live so far away..it 's hard to know what the REAL situation is. Maybe you could just call her and talk small talk and get into her life again..just for a connection. Maybe after awhile she'll open up to you..when she feels she can trust you and that you really care. Don't let it interfere with your own recovery though. Sometimes in helping others..it helps you. But, sometimes it just brings you back to that place. Maybe you should wait until you're stronger and then you'll be able to help her without hurting yourself. You're own mental stability has to come first. What helped you to get better?Only socializing? Maybe whatever helped you can possibly help her.