Please help!!!!!!!!!!! What was she trying to say?

Question

Yesterday, I went to therapy. My therapist & I just met a few weeks ago, so we're still sort of new to each other. I told her I feel that I am one of the six toxic friend types--- the needy/playing the victim type. She told me she didn't see me that way although our relationship is different from others that I have. She said that there's a difference between being needy and having needs that weren't met as a child (I'm 21). She said also that the needy type doesn't care about anyone else, but themselves and their needs and I'm very sensitive to others needs. She said I seemed more avoidant than needy. She said if that's what I thought we should definitely take it into consideration, that she wasn't trying to dismiss my claims. We actually discussed this for a loooong time, and I'm still confused. So was she trying to tell me in a nice way that I'm needy but I have "legitimate" reasons? Please help!!!! What was she saying? Also, she never did cover the playing the victim part? Why?

Answer 1

The best way to find out what someone meant is by asking them to clarify what you don't understand; we can make guesses but she can tell you straight out what she meant. Ask her.

Answer 2

Sounds like she's saying the needy are more self involved then you are, she said you are "Very sensitive to others needs"? Well if so, then you can't really be self involved and needy can you? Because your constantly acknowledging others and their feelings. As for playing the victim, perhaps its the same thing as being needy which you aren't but im no expert, just my two cents...Good luck dude :)

And the fact that your worried about being a toxic friend type, lol, i think means you arent one =)

Answer 3

I don't think we can tell you what she meant. Just ask her.

Answer 4

could i just ask u sumthing ????

why did u go to the therapist in the first place???

Answer 5

Just because her view of you is X that doesn't mean it's going to be the same as yours.  You're entitled to your opinion of yourself.  If it's that big of an issue to you can seek another therapist but the role of a therapist isn't to agree 100% with how you feel.  Your relationship with her is new I say give it some time.

Answer 6

I'm sure more will be covered in the next session.  Life isn't like a sitcom (ie it won't be fixed in an hour).  Also, read the last part of the question over again.  You seem pretty needy to me just from that.

Answer 7

Therapy is a long process, but at the moment when you disagreed with her you should have said something.  Therapy only works when the two of you work together to "sort" things out.  She is NOT always right.  Sometimes she needs MORE input from you to understand exactly where you are coming from.  Before your next session write down exactly what you stated here.  Before she begins stop her....tell her you have something from your past session that needs to be addressed and you want it clarified before you move on.  I can PROMISE you that she will be willing to work with you on it...not only is that her job....but that is what she gets paid for.  Part of therapy is YOUR being responsible for making sure that she does her part too.  Make her do her job.  You will feel much better and then you can move on to other issues.  Good luck!!!

Peace & Love :)

Answer 8

You need a new therapist.  You are needy.  Try yoga

Answer 9

She probably was giving you other options about what your problem is.  A lot of different problems have the same symptoms, so it's hard to tell for sure until you identify everything.  And you can't cover everything in one session.

Answer 10

You need to ask her to clarify what she meant, not a bunch of strangers who weren't even in the room. Ask her to explain and keep asking questions until you understand her meaning completely.