Please help....Why is she doing this?

Question

Hello. I'm a full-time college student & part-time worker. I still live at home with my mom. My mother annoys me at times & it's getting worse. I have become very short with her. She'll ask me the same questions over & over again. For example, I was looking up a menu online & it was uploading, and she kept reaching for the computer to see the menu, even though there clearly was just a blank screen. I had to keep telling her, "I'm still bringing it up." Last weekend she told me if I stay home and help her clean, we could go out on Sat. I usually procrastinate but I've learned it's better to get it over with so I can enjoy my weekend. I helped her clean Fri, then Sat. she said she wanted to stay home & clean some more. I reminded her about her promise to me, she said we could go out Sun. I talked to her and she agreed we could go out. The other day I had a doctor's appt, and she didn't even ask me how it went. When she has an appt. I always talk to her about it. Also, lately she's been putting down my comments like the other day we saw a man walk when there was a green light. And I said what is he doing. My mom goes well the light did change quickly....no it didn't he started across the street too late he should have waited but I kept it too myself. My mom whispers b/c she doesn't want my bro to hear some of our conversations, but she does this even when he's on a diff floor. Sometimes, she whispers about stuff that doesn't matter, and I'm like why are we whispering. My bro has been abusive in the past & I think my mom is a little paranoid. She also drinks a lot; I hate it when she does b/c she doesn't make much sense. Lastly, she talks to me ALL the time. I'm an introvert and am going to go crazy if I don't get some time to myself. There's more but it'll will be longer than it already is. Thanks for you help!!!

Answer 1

Women like to nag.  Your mother is no exception.  You can ask her to change, but she's your mother, and she's not likely to change for you.  Appreciate the fact that she pushed you out, and try to find some middle ground with her.  If she drives you crazy, then get out more.  Or try to be home at times that she is not to avoid conflict.  Get a job, go over to a friends house, move out.  I don't know how old you are, but these are all suggestions.

Answer 2

Dealing with an abusive brother and a mother who drinks too much is never easy, especially because you can't really do anything to change them.  You could suggest counseling for the whole family, but they are likely to just say no.  You could try going to support groups for families of alcoholics or read some self-help books to help you cope with your situation.

Of course, you know you need to get out of there as soon as you can.  That will be the best thing for you.  But until that day comes, just try to stay away from home longer when you can.  Like, do some studying at the library in order to have more time to yourself (or read the self-help section there if you have time - Wayne Dyer has some good books).  Or hang out in a coffee shop and just relax or study.