Please help! how did you cope after a break up etc. please read?

Question

Ok so me and my partner have been together for a long time bout 5years, we were engaged, anyway he has done some pretty sad things to me in the past(cheated, brusied my arm by pushing me into a wall(thts the only time hes eva been violnt)) but me being young and stupid i stayed with him in the hope he would change. Im 19 now. Last year we broke up for about a month and in this time he got a girl pregnant. He came back to me but has stuck around for his son who is due anyday and will continue to support his son. I dont see him changing tho, h**l always treat me like this because i always forgive him,i just cant break up with him! I love him but i hate him! I dont wana be in this relationship but im so weak i cant let go. With all the things hes done whats wrong with me why i cant just let go! I was 14 when we started going out, is this why i am finding it hard?please anyone been in this situation?

Please no stupid answers,

and please dont just say break up with him coz it harder then it sounds, iv been living with him since i was 15!

Also how did you girls cope after a break up?

Answer 1

I am sorry you are going through all of this, especially at such a young age and with a baby on the way. That just makes everything even tougher.

There is so much I would like to tell you, but doing it online would take forever. I can tell you, though, that you have already figured it out that you DO need to get out, NOW, for your sake as well as your baby's sake. Once he has started being violent with you, it will trickle down to the baby at some point in time. Statistics do prove this to be true most of the time. Do you really want this to happen? He may say that he will never do this to your child, but can you truly believe him after all that he has said and done so far?

I know how much you love him. Believe me. I have come from an abusive childhood (all kinds of abuse out there) and an abusive marriage). I walked away from the marriage after 20 years and have not looked back. That was 3 years ago. Yes, that took a lot of courage, and it was hard and took a lot of work, but I did it. You can do it too.

If you want, you can contact me by e-mail and I will give you some information. It will be up to you to take it or leave it, use it or not. The hard part is totally up to you to take, if you so choose to do it. Yes, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but it will be the best and safest thing for you and your child. It is not only you that you have to think about now; you have that precious child to think of as well. Please think of him. He does NOT need someone like this guy in his life doing these things to you or him, teaching him these things or to treat women this way.

Anyway, like I said, I could go on forever with all the information and stories I have so I will stop here. Please contact me if you want to.

Yvette

Answer 2

I'm also 19, about to turn 20. Six months ago my boyfriend of 5 years hit me in the face. I've never loved anyone as much as I loved him, but I've known abused women, so I got out. It took everything I had to not answer his calls or respond to anything he said. After all, it was the only time he'd ever hurt me. There were times when all I could do was sit in my room and cry, staring at the phone. I had to listen to myself and not my emotions. If I hadn't, I'd probably be in the position my friend is in: getting black eyes and concussions, being choked, and fearing for her life. The longer you wait, the harder it gets to leave. You'll start believing the things he says. You'll start excusing even bigger things than being thrown into a wall, like being choked, thrown off the stairs, and much more. Get out now, because it only gets worse.