Please help me, people are giving me hard time at my job ' calling me names'. What should I do?

Question

Okay this is my first job and I don't wanna argue with anybody about stupid stuff. But some individuals at my job keep on talking behind my back or even when I'm arrounnd on the radio (radio used in fast food places). They keep on judging me that I'm g*y (which I'm not) and I don't really mind because I'm safe about my sexuality. But some times it really make me feel lonely when every body is judging me at any thing I do, they say that " I'm a g*y guy but I'm acting like I'm not" which i don't really get, why would I try to hide any thing?. I mean they know i have a girl friend but they keep saying that I'm just acting. what should I do?. Plus I came to the U.S after surviving the liberian civil war in which I lost almost all my family including my dad, and being here has been very positvie and I'm trying to archieve my dreams but some people just keep giving me hard time. I try to tell the manager of the restaurant about this but one day I over heard her laughing at me and participating with the other kids in mocking me " this kid is g*y but acts as if he is straight bla bla bla", which really made me loose hope.

Answer 1

I know this is hard to understand, but the people treating you bad have very low self esteem. That's why they are putting you down, to make them feel above you. Just try to ignore it. I know it's going to be hard to do. Concentrate on your goals--At least YOU have some! I'm sure they are jealous because of that, too. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm sorry you're experiencing this workplace bullying.  If you work at a chain restaurant and the manager is participating in the bullying you should go over her head and contact the Regional Manager.  You should be able to identify and contact that person with a google search of the store name.  I encourage you to do so.  This is unacceptable behavior and you do not have to tolerate it.

I cannot imagine why your co-workers are behaving this way.  Honestly, I have never worked anywhere where someone was singled out and bullied, though I know it is not unheard of.  Most of the co-workers that people don't like appear to be over achievers and willing to step on others to get ahead.  I hope this is not you.  

Answer 3

thats mean =/

Answer 4

Try to file a complaint with your boss or something, but that could make it even worse :/

I think there's some kind of law against this

Answer 5

Best advice is dish it right back.   it sounds dumb but it will work.  Stop acting g*y and man up.   Don't let them say stuff and don't say anything back.  maker them feel the pain too by any means necessary.   You  must make it not fun to harass you.if you dish it back and get in there face ,cause a scene, in front of customers even . and no one including the boss will thinks it's so funny, any more.   As long as you allow it they will continue to feed off your misery ,  might as weel let out some anger and feed of theres.

Answer 6

first, i think you need to report not only your fellow employees, but especially your manager! that is very unprofessional! every company has an integrity hotline. you need to call immediately and say that you have been harassed by your manager based on sexuality (even though you are not homosexual she still made comments about your sexuality that were not appropriate in the first place) and that you have also been harassed by your manager based on ethnicity.

just try to stand up for yourself again. tell them that although they may think it is just an innocent joke, you don't think it's funny and in fact it is upsetting you to the point that you don't feel comfortable at work.

if neither of these things work, i hate to say it, but maybe you should just try to find another job where you will feel more comfortable!

good luck and sorry that people are so ignorant and hurtful.

Answer 7

that is so messed up. i would feel really badly too if i were you. can you get a new job? or maybe if you can befriend someone there, that person will let the other people know that you're a cool person.  

Answer 8

Well, just straight out tell them you are not g*y. If they don't believe you, bring your girlfriend to work one day.

Answer 9

i feel so sorry for you about ur dad,T.Ti know you've been through sum stuff but you cant let them get you down there just looking for someone to pick on, they must have no lives to be talking about you all day like that but don't feel bad because people will always talk about you people just dont know how to shut there mouths but dont feel bad because if they keep talking as if your g*y mayb there the ones whos g*y if thats the case so please try to ignore them dont let them put you down.but if the problem gets worse let your boss know but there probably pucking on you because your the new guy, so good luck:)

Answer 10

this is simply not pay attention to them, you came to this country to achieve your dreams don't let such a stupidly to stop what you want in your life, whenever you come to your job just think that there is nobody there and what you're doing is making money, and you are going to have success after all and it's going to be into oblivion all the bad experiences in that job.

Answer 11

You have to change the way you think first.

Be really positive. And did you know that the subconcious doesn't answer to negative? So if you keep saying: I wish they won't call me g*y. It actually hear's I wish they call me g*y. So start thinking positive like: Today, will be a good day. and stuff. (it might even improve your vocabulary, well it did for me) I read the exact same thing in a book and the person told him to be more positive and change the way he thinks and after the people who were mocking him of being g*y moved away or got offered another job.

Hope this helps

Peace :)

Answer 12

ok kid people in this country are not nice. so put your big boy panties on and suck it up! sure they are making fun of you but thats what people do. im sorry. you will have to deal with it for the rest of you life.

Answer 13

I hate when you work somewhere, or are at school where you feel people talking about you behind your back.  Some people are so childish and never grow up.  My husband never understands why I think people do that to me sometimes.  He was the quarterback at school, and was popular, and doesn't understand.  He never cared what other people thought.  I was always the opposite, and took everything to heart, and would get depressed, or angry at people.  I am older now, and no it doesn't matter what people think, but it does still hurt.  Maybe you can try to find another job, with a smaller group of people that wont be so prone to talking about you if they have to stay close to you, because they wont say it to your face.  Good luck.  Don't be ashamed of who you are.

Answer 14

They aren't used to your mannerisms because you are from a different country.

Yes, managers often don't take on the responsible, authoritative role as I first expected when I started working. They are trying to fit in and be liked! Often they are not even concerned about the good of the company. I used to deal with them assuming they would be concerned about the good of the company. It just isn't the case, when they don't own it!

You should just start talking to the other workers. Ask them about themselves, tell them about yourself.

Also try, just in your head, knowing that you are just as much a judge of them as they are of you. People can sense this. If you are worrying about their opinions they feel confident in their stupidity. If you are worrying about your opinions, suddenly they aren't so confident.

If that doesn't work, look for a new job. There are lots of work places (even in the same area) where people are much more appreciative of different cultures and backgrounds.

(you may have run into a group of overly silly & bored kids)

Answer 15

Start looking for another job, try a temp agency that will place you with mature people. Until then just ignore them, they have no life!

Answer 16

Dearheart, whether or not you are g*y, this is harrassment. Harrassment can happen in any work environment. I would suggest you get some counseling for PTSD, as you have survived a great trauma/loss. This may affect the way you project yourself, allowing others to walk all over you.

But...here's what else you need to do! Go to the website below and find a way to make them stop...or pay!

Answer 17

read all the articles here ...http://www.shamo.info

hope you feel better

cheers..

Answer 18

i know it might be hard, but just ignore them and work hard. try and talk to the boss if you can and make sure they know who was harassing you. if it gets really bad, try and find a new job and when you do just quit the job with those mean people =)