Please help me! Boyfriend harming self cause I want to leave.?

Question

I told my boyfriend last night I was officially moving my apartment will be ready in September. He was begging and pleading and asking if he changed could we work things out. I've been telling him for awhile now I want to leave I wasn't happy. Well he went and got a razor and started slicing his arms face and neck I called the police and they took him to the hospital and he was released within an hour (which I think was a mistake) and he wont leave me alone I'm afraid to say anything what am I supposed to do I have nowhere to go until my apartment is ready but I don't want to be here with him he obviously needs help. I tried to make it civil but as you can see I should have went behind his back and left while he was gone. How can I handle this I don't want him to hurt himself but I don't want to stay here either.

Answer 1

You need to move on and be away from each other because he will not move on until he has time away from you

Answer 2

I'm assuming you have a family member or friend that you trust, call them, explain to them the situation and ask them if you can move in with them until September.  Offer to pay some money to them to help offset expenses incurred for having you there (extra electricity, water, garbage, etc)

Answer 3

This was his last ditch attempt to win you back...but it didn't work.  He figured you'd feel sorry for him and reconsider, but he needs some SERIOUS help, and its sad that the police did not lead him to that help.  I know that if that happened in the county I live, the police would have taken him to the hospital and they would have the local Mental Health counselors step in also.  I think you should see if your county has some mental health counseling, and contact them and see if they can help him somehow.

I hope they can help you find him some counseling!!!

Answer 4

Talk to his parents so they can instituitionalize him in a mental facility dont feel bad for him he wouldve done it either way just move and change your number

Answer 5

He needs serious professional help.  Get a restraining order if you have to.  He's doing it to control you.  Get out fast.

Answer 6

Talk to a friend or your family about staying until your apartment is ready. You can talk to your new landlord and ask if he has somewhere you could rent until you move in your new place. And lastly contact the local women's shelter, they may be able to steer you in the right direction. The thing you don't want to do is stay there, as the time grows nearer he could turn on you, he's losing you anyway. I would not tell him where your going just get your stuff and leave the next time he's gone from the house.

Answer 7

Stay with a trusted friend, family, or get yourself a hotel room to stay at for the time being.  He needs serious help and I would call some of his friends to let them know what is going on with him.  Advise them that you have made the choice to leave and he is not taking it well - he took a razor and began cutting himself and he won't leave you alone...see if his friends will jump in and help out.  If that isn't an option I would suggest contacting the authorities if he gets out of hand but I don't think it is healthy for you to stay there.  I would suggest staying anywhere but there.  Find a place to crash till your apartment is ready.  

Good Luck.

Answer 8

Talk to his parents, he needs serious help immediately,and i would try and get a personal protection order to keep him away from you,it seems he is unstable  and a harm to himself and quit possibly others.

It's possible that he is hurting himself,not because you want to leave,but because he wants to manipulate and control you,by means of using guilt ,GET OUT,BEFORE IT'S TO LATE!,He needs help  that you CAN'T provide!!!!

Answer 9

Is there one of his family members you can talk to about this? This is very serious and he may end up hurting you too. I would have one of his family members talk to him and get out of there ASAP.

Answer 10

I had an ex that did this, he took a bottle of pills one time to "kill himself".  I'm not saying he couldn't hurt himself, or that your man wouldn't, but mostly it's a control issue to get you to do what he wants.  If your really concerned about him (obviously his mother has seen this and is not) then you should contact the police and go in front of a judge, tell them your ex is actually dangerous and might hurt himself.  They will put him in a mental hospital and do an evaluation on him for at least 3 days.  While he is gone leave him, or tell him your going to stay and leave when he thinks its all good.  He is dangerous, and that's the truth.  One day he might decide to turn the razor on you, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't done something nasty to you like that anyway.  

Answer 11

If I were you, I would not be alone at any time if possible.  It is a fine line between anger at himself and anger at you.  You don't want to be around when the latter happens.  Don't take his calls, and keep a lookout for him.  I have often siad that men who murder thier wives and children and then themselves, should just reverse the order they do it.

Answer 12

What a wuss. Know what? He won't kill himself. He hasn't the balls. If he did he would have done so already and he wouldn't have told you either.

Let him slice himself up. The scars will be a signal to any other woman he meets to steer clear of this psycho case.

In the meantime..why don't you go find a real man who doesn't have to depend on self mutilation to get his way. Jesus...whatta p***y.

Answer 13

Obviously it's a good thing you are moving out! HE has problems that need to be addressed. Either he's doing it to seek attention or it's something he's always done and you didn't know about it? Either way it's very unhealthy.

Move in with a friend or your parents till your place is ready. I agree with the first poster - tell his parents. Every time you hear of him self harming, call the police.

Answer 14

when you get ready to leave in sept call your local police dept so that they can be there to get your stuff out, if i was you i would leave now, place what ever you have in storage if you could and stay with friends or family til your place is ready ,

i would also see about getting a restraining order against him since he seems instable,,

i can;t believe they only kept him for an hour here you are held at least 24 hours if you do something like that,

good luck to you,,  

Answer 15

well if he has done it before than its not like he is going to kill himself just cut himself. just leave go to a hotel you dont need to be there who cares if he cuts himself he is only hurting himself not anyone else  

Answer 16

you just leave and go away from him. this is just infatuation and he LL recover from that soon. but if you keep contact with him he will try to do again or even blackmail you..

Iam sure that he will not do anything if you completely move away from him.

Answer 17

He definitely needs help.He may just be doing it not really meaning to do that much damage so you will stay but he may go too far one time by accident.Keep in mind he is not your responsibility, get in touch with his parents and if they are not around maybe his best friend.Let them know what is going on and ask them to be there on the day you plan on leaving so he won't be there by himself.You can not let this person dictate your life by his actions.Best of luck..

Answer 18

This boy needs some professional help and soon... You need to call his parents and have them intervene so he gets the proper help. He could hurt himself and/or you. Don't take a chance find yourself somewhere else to live a friend or someone... it is the 14th of August today that is two weeks and a couple days... surely someone will let you stay with them but I wouldn't take my things until he left who knows when he will blow....

Answer 19

I would leave immediately..you don't know if the next time it will be you that he hurts. Then I would call one of his family members (if you know any) so they can get him help. You have to look out for yourself first. If he does it again before you can leave, call the police again. Good luck.

added: Well, since his mom obviously doesn't care then you need to leave and let him be. Its not worth you getting hurt. He probably had these problems since he was younger and his mom did nothing to help...so there is only so much you can do and thats worry about yourself.

Answer 20

He sounds mentally unstable and so does his mom for not wanting to help her own son. I would leave at all costs now before he tries some desperate attempt at trying to keep you around, like hurting you. You only have a month to go, just think if you had a year to wait and since you haven't mentioned any, I'm assuming friends and family aren't an option but if you look online or in the phone book, they have plenty of hotels that have extended stay services to where you can pay a nominal fee a week to have a room. Get out, even if you have to put your things in storage and go to a shelter. He's not right in the head and I wouldn't trust that he wouldn't do more to hurt himself or hurt you.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 21

I was in a similar situation with my ex husband. Bottom line: you aren't to blame for his behavior. It's not your fault. He obviously has mental issues and needs to get medical help. He's using this to try to control you.

The best thing you can do for yourself is get out of this relationship before something bad happens to you. I learned this the hard way, girl. Please learn from my mistakes. You can't fix him yourself.  

Answer 22

Your decision should be either yes or No.

There is no dilemmas or via-medias.

You have to decide to leave him abruptly.

As you are facing this, you have to make some proper plans.

Answer 23

well tell someone so they can take care of him in hospital or something cause he could hurt u next so go leave and try to find some to help  him!!!

Answer 24

He's a 'cutter', Hon and that's a psychological issue that he's been dealing with long before you arrived in his life...his mother's comment to you was the freudian slip of honesty....she probably lied to the police because she's been dishonest with herself over it rather than face it and get him the help he needs.

Don't stay...don't ever let anyone blackmail you into staying in a relationship thru the threat of harming themselves...you are NOT responsible for how he handles any situation, ditto in the particular case..leave him to his family to get him the help he needs...move to your apartment and end the relationship...stay with a relative or a friend in the short term, even see about a woman's shelter...if he's a danger to himself he is a danger to you...good luck.