Please help me. I live with my mother-in-law?

Question

We kinda helping each other. She does the cooking, I do the cleaning. But the thing is, she is really messy, dirty and lazy ( most of the time). I am talking about a real messy and dirty house! I want to get out from here but we are in a tight budget at the moment. I'm lucky because she is kind to me but I just can't stand her because she is so messy, dirty and lazy. And I'm a person who like clean and tidy. Also I don't really have freedom in this house.( to decor, to eat food from the freeze etc). Me and my husband are saving now to rent an apartment. But it's gonna takes time. In the mean time, we have no choice. Do you have any idea or suggestion, how can I hang on to live in this h**l house? Thanks.

Answer 1

if you hate it so much MOVE OUT it's her house not yours!!!!

YOU ARE LIVING OFF OF HER KINDNESS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, CLEAN IT AND STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT WHAT A PIG SHE IS!!!  after all she is allowing you to stay in HER house!!!

Answer 2

There's an old saying that goes: "You can teach an old dog new tricks"....Your mother in law isnt going to change her ways after so long. Its up to you to change how you view the situation.

Just keep reminding yourself "this is just a means to an end".

Your situation is temporary. Remind yourself of that and fantasise about how great the day you move out it going to be!

In the mean time...do what you can to save every penny you have! Put away every thing you can and save as hard as you can.  

Answer 3

have your husband suggest she keep up her tidiness and not make it such a horrible place to live.If she only cooks, she's getting a bigger deal than you are.You said you cannot eat food from the freezer, why's that? Are you contributing to the food expenses ? Are you using all your savings to get this apartment ?  I sympathize with you.. best get out as soon as your able.

Answer 4

Wait - who does the shopping? I think there might be too many boundaries. Why not break it down some more, who does the dishes? Who dusts, who brings in the papers.  Can you possibly find things you have in common that you care about, like grandchildren or favorite or new recipes or driving or shopping. So change the script. Your mother in law may agree. And if she doesn't, agree to disagree. I have a similiar problem, tuning out is the hardest part but the most effective. And a big tip - ask her for advice, she will love you forever.

Answer 5

Advice:

Keep your eye on the prize.

It is difficult for anyone to live with their in-laws but it is her house and if she likes it dirty guess what.. It is going to be dirty!

If you make a big deal out of it them it could put a damper on your relationship with your mother in law and that is NEVER good.

Just keep your eye on the prize and stay calm and continue what you are doing.

GOOD LUCK!